I recently experienced a stunning revelation about the aging process that, as is the case with any worthwhile realization, caused me to fully reevaluate a firmly-held conviction and ultimately made me a wiser, more sympathetic person to all those for whom it has occurred. Anyway, for a long time I was completely convinced that people became "old" when their fear of new developments and technologies outweighed the innate curiosity and excitement we tend to feel when introduced to something of which we have been previously ignorant. In this conception aging is not so much a function of chronology or exhaustion as it is a result of uneasiness or discomfort [...]
43. Aching feet 42. Failing eyesight 41. Everything taking at least ten minutes longer than you planned 40. Frequent late-night urination 39. Cracking sound each time you stand up 38. Ear hair 37. Nose hair 36. Head hair (in sink/shower) 35. "Sorry, I couldn't hear you." 34. "Just resting my eyes." 33. Unreliable memory 33. Ultra-reliable memory (i.e. increasingly frequent and vivid memories of things you've long since forgotten rushing in at inappropriate times)
Natasha: Okay, what did you think of Techno Roman Madonna and her 13th legion last night?
Julie: Well, to me, Madonna is like the Catholic Church or Penn State. I’ll defend anything she does, even when she's guilty. I’m loyal to the institution.
Natasha: What did you think of her football fruits?
Julie: I thought they were great.
Natasha: DON'T LIE!!
Julie: I thought she should have worn different shoes.
Natasha: This is like when the Catholic Church or Penn State blamed a sex abuse scandal on a couple bad apples!
Julie: The medley was tight, the concepts were good, it looked great and I'd say she sounded [...]
As I’ve been watching the NBA playoffs this spring, I’ve reached an unhappy milestone: I’m now old enough to dread learning the birthdates of professional athletes.
When I was a kid, the only pertinent piece of data about a player was his height. That Spud Webb could dunk despite being 5' 7"; that Michael Jordan was a palindromic, Greek-God-like 6’ 6"; these were the things that seemed to me worth knowing. I would no more have thought of the age of a basketball player than I would have thought of the age of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
But when I watch games now, a message flashes across my [...]
Slate claims that no one wants to be a dentist anymore, and that everyone hates them because of the movies. (There may be some truth in that! But I think people hated them first. Mostly people hate them because people hate dental work and are suspect of anyone who would do it all day!) Says Slate: "during the 20th century's final decades, a dwindling number of Americans chose to become dentists. In the early 1980s, U.S. dental schools produced about 5,750 new graduates per year. In 2007, with a population that's nearly one-third larger, there were about 4,700." And that: "In 1980, the United States had 60 dental schools; [...]