Press release of the day: "A Purr-fect Fit: CeeLo Green And Purrfect The Cat Remix Meow Mix® Cat Food Jingle: CeeLo Green, Recording Artist and Mentor on NBC's Hit Show "The Voice," Heads to the Studio with Purrfect the Cat to Put a New Spin on One of America's Most Memorable Jingles." OH GOD IT'S LIVE AND IT'S HORRIFYING.
This is what happens when you're forced to cover Comic-Con: you go a little haywire and engineer a long-hugging contest.
"Stephen Baldwin has sued fellow actor Kevin Costner over their investments in a device that BP PLC used in trying to clean up the massive Gulf of Mexico oil spill." —Wake me in 2011.
4D Man is in fact a male between 15 and 40 who is “confident, individual and has varied interests and passions.” A Bauer spokesperson told Media Week that 4D man is “not as tribal as his predecessors, the metrosexual and the lad, where you either were one or you weren’t.” He is also “increasingly interested in culture and is more health-conscious."
Well bowl me over. This regards the launch of a men's magazine. Called Gaz7etta. (I think that's how you spell Portßolio in Italian?) A few things! 1. "Between 15 and 40"? I don't buy your demographic coinage if it encompasses half of adulthood. And spreads [...]
"I didn't ask Kendrick to leave the race, nor did Kendrick say that he would," is the statement just sent out by Bill Clinton's press office. For those not playing along, he means Kendrick Meek, the Democratic Senate candidate in Florida, who's not winning against an Independent (Charlie Crist) and a Tea Party candidate running as a Republican (Marco Rubio). He does know that this was in the Times today, I assume: "Matt McKenna, Mr. Clinton’s spokesman, said the former president had concluded that Mr. Meek’s candidacy was struggling and was urging him to drop out and endorse Charlie Crist."
"The editor of the Alaska Dispatch website was arrested by U.S. Senate candidate Joe Miller's private security guards Sunday as the editor attempted to interview Miller at the end of a public event in an Anchorage school." He was then released when the real police showed up, because, Jesus Christ!
Hello!
Congrats on moving to our town for your job working with Eliot Spitzer. (Good luck and be careful!) I'm sorry that you think that New York City is Communist China, which is something you literally just wrote in the Washington Post! And I'm sorry you see signs of "government management" of our lives everywhere, which, are you talking about those bossy crosswalks and weird fences on the corners where you can't cross? Because those were all Giuliani. And it is true that you can't get a good mass market donut here. So now that you've LIVED IN NEW YORK CITY now "FOR A FEW WEEKS" and [...]
"While many Portlanders still pluck aging birds for the broiler, others seek a blissful, pastoral end for them. Because most chickens lay the majority of eggs early in life, and can live about 10 years, the quest for a place where chickens can live out their sunset years has brought a boom at least two farm animal sanctuaries." —PORTLAND!
I was looking forward to learning about Why Roger Ailes Hates America as per the title of this Esquire profile but unfortunately the answer was not forthcoming, or perhaps a few thousand words of bizarre overwrought writerly tics prevented me from finding out.
When last we checked in on the dead maybe-murdered maybe-gay Gareth Williams MI6 spy story—back in September!—we were learning about how he may have locked himself allegedly into his own sports bag? Now, at Christmas-time, no less, we are learning a few things! For one, an investigator believes "that someone else had been involved in putting Williams into the bag." Well good, the laws of physics remain unchallenged! A few other things? Bondage website browser history, for one. "Detectives also found a £15,000 collection of unworn women's designer clothing, including tops, dresses and shoes, in his wardrobe." (Collection includes Louboutin! Also, he was (secretly) a fashion design [...]
I mean, did they invent some new kind of "meta" and not tell me about it? Anti-meta? So confused!
Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. has never smashed a Whac-A-Mole game in a drunken fit. He has never invoked Freedom of Information laws to find out a female federal employee’s work schedule. And to the best of anyone’s knowledge, he has never washed his car in the White House driveway.
But to readers of The Onion, the satirical newspaper and Web site, the vice president has done all of those things, plus bounce a check for $39.50 to a liquor store and star in advertisements for Hennessy [...]
Wow, it looks like they actually went through with the remake of Red Dawn after all! Um, anyway… even in the context of China as the villain of the political season, this "slickly-produced new ad from Citizens Against Government Waste" leaves me speechless. And kind of angry. I just… well, I'll repeat myself: Wow.
This picture, by Reid Epstein of Newsday, is of hail. Tom Keaney agrees! Yup that is icy, icy hail. It appears to be strongest (and hippest) in Brooklyn. Hug your cats, this is the end times!
Yes, indeed, that was a truly bizarre episode of Stephen Colbert, Congressional immigration expert.
Well, well, well. Isn't this a pretty turn of possible (though not terribly probable) events for Hurricane Katia.
I don't even know. "In celebration of selling its millionth Butterbeer inside The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Universal Orlando Resort shared 1,000 complimentary Butterbeers with guests on the streets of Hogsmeade." Yes, really!
Like everything wasn't weird enough already, now director David Lynch is releasing electronic music.
Today in WTF: "New York City schools chancellor Joel Klein is resigning to join News Corp., ending an eight-year reign at the helm of the nation's largest school system. In his place, Mayor Michael Bloomberg is expected to announce Cathie Black, chairwoman of Hearst Magazines. She would be the first woman charged with running New York City's 1,500 schools and more than one million students." Did I already say WTF? Because, you know, WTF?
First I hated the Prada camouflage line, which, to be fair, grew on me! A little. It was still obviously ugly and the worst thing is, you know, you're wearing those clothes and everyone's like, "oh there's those Prada camouflage clothes." It's too much on you. And now? And now? BUT AND IF AND? Here. THE "CREEPER WINGTIPS PLATFORM" SHOES.
It does not appear to be April 1 by our pitiful human calendars so we are going to presume that this announcement from the former software company turned robotics and human health and interests services industry (AKA our shadow government) called "Google," in which they reveal that they have been secretly having robots drive cars up and down California, is real and that we're all going to die.
