Contributor Choire
Oh hi. I work here and enjoy cats and cat-related news.
New Things: Mothers With Hair 2010-02-09
Since the beginning of time, all mothers have been bald or at least quite nearly hairless. In these heady modern times, notes a new child-haver, mothers may have hair. Writes mother Alex Kuczynski: "The mother with the long, unrestrained locks is something odd, and relatively new." [N.B. The word "nanny" does not appear in this cultural meditation.] 2
Real Estate Royalty Report All Is Well 2010-02-09
This odd profile today in the Times of the current state of New York office-building-owning real estate royalty indicates that they are all just fine and dandy! The Rudins, the Dursts, the Roses—they have weathered the storms (now all long past, apparently?) and there's not a single bit of data in this accounting about any upcoming lease expirations or negotiations or regarding any possible dropping of rental prices per square foot. The only bit of contrast to their apparent success offered is the disaster facing solely residential developers, like Shaya Boymelgreen, in deep trouble for having jumped wholeheartedly into providing a glut of luxury condos. Somehow still, the Speyers end up on the outs here, due to their recent loss of Stuyvesant Town—even as, just last June, they were the family dynasty to worship. Also: not a mention of the arriviste Trumps or the Kushners. 0
Rick Lazio: Leave David Paterson Alone! 2010-02-09
This is a weird chapter in New York state politics! Just like the previous eighteen weird chapters. You know, there's the chapter where some politicians changed parties for a while and brought Albany to a complete halt and also of course The Chapter About The Face-Slasher, who may or may not be expelled from the Senate today. Now we have lonely Rick Lazio, the Republican contender for Governor, who has written a letter to the Times demanding that the paper immediately publish its forthcoming David Paterson story, which may or may not be about anything at all! (Sidenote: It's about something, as far as we know, but you know, who cares any more? Also? Paterson is saying "There is no story!" Meanwhile, his semi-defenders at the Post still write today: "Sources said Paterson plans to meet today with the paper's editors and reporters in hopes of heading off a damaging story." Heh?) So what have we all learned from this? All we've learned that Rick Lazio isn't all that bright. 2
What's Next? Maya Angelou's Super Bowl Picks? 2010-02-08
Apparently, at the New Yorker, it used to be impossible to even pull a column out of Hendrik Hertzberg every couple weeks. And now, he is liveblogging about the Oscars. You guys. 3
It is true: the Mark Harris piece on awards campaigning in Hollywood is delightful. 2010-02-08 1
Knifecrime Island Is Actually Lovecrime Island 2010-02-08
Let me offer you some additional, and contradictory, testimony on why there is all that constant glassing over in England and its wholly-owned subsidiary islands of stabbitude. The thing is? They're just crazy in love. In a recent science poll, almost one-third of Americans said they'd rather spend Valentine's Day with their pets than a person. 50% of Turks said the same! 2 out of 5 Indians agreed! But get this: only 18% of Knifecrimers surveyed said they would prefer to spend the day with a pet, rather than a lover. The people of Britain are love-besotted romantics! And all that passion makes them violent. Now you understand. (See also: Edward II.) 9
San Francisco Helps Haiti 2010-02-08
James Fallows found this happening in the "Marina/Cow Hollow" neighborhood of San Francisco. It may be the case that in exchange for a yoga mat drop-off, they are sending money to Haiti! Maybe. (And it may be the case that your old yoga mat will be used for as bedding for "use" in "overcrowded hospitals"!) 22
Explaining Metropolitan Diary, Part Two 2010-02-08
Sometimes the Monday "news and notes from weird readers from all over" column in the New York Times baffles. (See: previously.) Today offers a fascinating example that may baffle you if you are not deeply immersed in the culture and its assumptions. (READ MORE) 12
Nothing to see, says Governor David Paterson's spokesman! 2010-02-08 6
Neutral News and the 'Times' in Jerusalem 2010-02-08
This weekend's New York Times' public editor column was yet another doozy, covering the semi-recent news that the paper's Jerusalem bureau chief's son recently joined the IDF (before he traipses back to America to go to college). That the kid is going to great lengths to undermine his father's longstanding career is fascinating but we'll leave that for their family therapy sessions, about which: whew, good luck. Hoyt's column is unbearably dull until near the end, when he suddenly takes a side: "The Times sent a reporter overseas to provide disinterested coverage of one of the world’s most intense and potentially explosive conflicts, and now his son has taken up arms for one side." That's both rather stirring and accurate! Still it doesn't have too much meaning beyond emotional appeal. (READ MORE) 7
"ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) — New York Gov. David Paterson has met privately with key Democratic leaders about his re-election plans as questions swirl around the state capitol about a variety of unproven accusations involving the Democratic governor's personal conduct." 2010-02-08 7
Oh Hell Yes 2010-02-07
Oh, there'll be more on this tomorrow from the straight man, if he doesn't die from excitement and alcohol poisoning tonight, but meanwhile, let us officially give a big HELL YES to the Saints win tonight at the Bowl That Finally Deserves To Be Called Super. It's sure nice to see New Orleans get a little attention after a few years of deadening quiet! (This, by the way, is what it sounds like inside a New Orleans household. Right???) Still, because this is America, tonight everyone's a winner! (Even losers from Indiana.) Everyone's a winner, that is, except anyone who wants to pay for sex in Miami tonight to celebrate. 32
"Bombshell" David Paterson "News" Forthcoming 2010-02-05
Word is that crazy news about New York's governor is coming down the Times pike in the possibly very near future. (Déjà vu, anyone?) The Daily News' Liz Benjamin hears: "The rumor mill has been running overtime in recent weeks about Paterson and the possibility that a major newspaper is about to drop a bombshell story about his personal life that will be far worse than his acknowledged extramarital affair with a former state employee." And Observer media reporter John Koblin says: "anyone hearing about NYT bombshell on Paterson?" Don't you love Fridays? As a counterpoint: don't expect this to be as mindblowing as the Spitzer thing. For one thing, I mean, well, our standards with Paterson are kind of low. Also, we hear we might have to wait a while. The life of Mr. Paterson is a complicated thing to unravel, apparently! 21
The Strange Case of Yale and the "Federal Takeover" of Student Loans 2010-02-05
Caesar Storlazzi has been the chief financial aid officer at Yale since 2005. Back in November, he made the decision to work with the government's direct student lending program, in anticipation of the disembowelment of Sallie Mae and the other mega-lenders. And now, he tells the Times, he's regretting it. "'It really felt like the administration was just shoving this down our throats,' he said. 'It feels a bit like a federal takeover.' With competition among lenders, he said, 'We get better prices and services.'" What a strange and amazing thing for a senior official at Yale to say! (READ MORE) 12
Blogger Jim Treacher, struck down by a State Dept. Security Services-driven SUV on the mean streets of D.C., speaks! (He is about to undergo surgery and is presumably on some awesome painkillers.) Tucker Carlson will continue to bring you updates on this breaking story (until the snow becomes the news of the hour). 2010-02-05 5
How To Stop The Internet Comments 2010-02-05
Are you opposed to the noise of strangers? Did you know there was a custom CSS page (don't worry about what that means if you don't know! You can still use it!) that disables most comments up in your browser? It is true—it simply strips out any part of a web page that has the name "comments." (So, obviously, this works sometimes and not others.) But worth a try if you crave silence and the like, you heartless hater. 17
Tucker Carlson Employee Attacks State Dept. SUV With Broken Knee 2010-02-04
TreacherGate, in case you have not been following the blow-by-blow of the Daily Caller employee (Jim Treacher, real name Sean Medlock) who was viciously assaulted by a State Dept. Security Services SUV, is hotting up tonight. "A second DSS spokeswoman… claimed that 'a jogger collided with one of the U.S. Department of State, Diplomatic Security Service’s official vehicles'—as if Medlock, who does not jog, had somehow attacked the SUV." But Tucker Carlson is on the scene. 26
"Record company EMI has reported an annual pre-tax loss of £1.75bn in the year to 31 March 2009." 2010-02-04 9
Happy 36th Anniversary of Patty Hearst's Abduction 2010-02-04
Yes. It is that sacred day. May I point out that Ms. Hearst's memoir, Every Secret Thing, is an absolutely excellent read. Really terrific. Me and John Waters will be all snuggled up, rereading it tonight. Not together, sad to say. [Warning: Memoir is written by a woman, is in the first person and includes details about her sex life.] 18
Words Like "Chaos," "Plunging," "Everyone's Freaking Out" and "Freefall" Appear on Finance Sites 2010-02-04
The Las Vegas Observer 2010-02-04
Also the Times, last year, laid off some copy editors. (Staf?) In any event, the news conveyed is that the Observer is launching a free weekly in Las Vegas. Duuuuuude. Also, may we amplify? Jared Kushner "has started a string of new ventures, like The Commercial Observer and a group of political news Web sites in several states [which he later shut down]." (via) 2
Zeituni Onyango In Court Today 2010-02-04
We're semi-eagerly awaiting a decision out of Boston today, mostly because it is a story with no relevance beyond political spectacle, regarding the deportation of the President's aunt. (Zeituni Onyango, who is a KENYAN, works as either a computer programmer or a public health advocate, or both, depending on what news outlet you are reading.) She was denied asylum in 2004; she is a member of the Luo minority in Kenya; by last year, as many as 600,000 people were "displaced" (that is, homeless) due to political and ethnic conflict. She has declined interviews. This retains my interest, I think, because it is one of those stories regarding which, the more you think about it, the less you are able to clearly summarize its news value. 5
Insane FDNY Brawl Takes Place After Dinner at Unattractive Restaurant 2010-02-04
"Walk in the door and you are transported to another place and time… Ambiance? Hmm… the lack of ambiance is the ambiance, but in a good way," begins a review of Two Toms restaurant in Brooklyn. After a dinner there, on Friday night, two dozen firefighters, out for their annual dinner, beat four civilians to a pulp because one of the civilians spilled a drink. This was at The Salty Dog ("I love when vehicles are indoors, hence the half of firetruck that is inside.") Other reviews suggest that Two Tom's is not a good date restaurant. "The only thing is the neighborhood can seem sketchy so make sure you are not walking to/from the train late night if you are a girl or with a girl. Probably a good idea to leave them at home anyway because the place has zero aesthetic appeal and it can turn them off quickly if they are medium maintenance or higher." 31
Special Permission Needed To Kill American Terrorists 2010-02-04
If you want to kill an American citizen, one who has professed the desire to accomplish terror, you have to get special permission, from bureaucrats higher up than the bureaucrats who give the okay to killing non-American citizens. Sometimes the permission needed goes all the way to the top of the bureaucrat chain, like back at the end of this last Advent, when the President himself authorized a machine to fly over Yemen and bomb someone. (The machine missed.) 4
Rand Paul, Dark Prince of the Right's Bladerunner Future 2010-02-04
Rand Paul, son of Ron Paul, whose real first name is Randal and so you shouldn't worry too much about the whole Ayn Rand thing, honest, is running for Senate in Kentucky and also he is kind of a downer. "Rand Paul's stump speech can be a downer. Although he is not above offering some anti-Obama red meat — 'Sarah Palin said he's been palling around with terrorists; now he's palling around with the world's communists' — his remarks drift into dark idiosyncrasy: He criticizes population-control policies by saying governments fear 'too many breathers,' as in humans. He reminds supporters that the 'Bridge to Nowhere' was built by earmarks from Republican senators in Palin's own state and mourns a system so broken that 'I'm not sure you can elect enough good people to fix it — I mean, I'm really concerned about it.'" He has seen too much, too soon, this man, and knows the sad scary future of the human race of bloodbags in bondage to the machines soon to come. 18
A Conversation with Paul Ford, Web Editor of Harper's Magazine 2010-02-03
Paul Ford is an associate editor at Harper's Magazine. His duties include the full operation of the website. We requested that he join us for a conversation about the magazine, its website and the site's paywall choices and goals.
Choire: Hey Paul! Thank you for joining me. At the outset, let me disclaim that we are somewhat friendly, and in fact for one night shared a bedroom in Sag Harbor, though not in any way that calls your heterosexuality into question.
Paul: That was a beautiful weekend.
Choire: Ha, well you just made that sound a lot worse for you, but okay! Innuendo aside, I requested your attendance here because I wanted to know a bit about the Harper's website, which you designed and schemed up and built (as in coded!). (READ MORE) 41
Awl columnist Chris Lehmann sells book based on Awl column? Strange but true! 2010-02-03 49
Carly Fiorina Delivers Best Political Ad Ever 2010-02-03
Holy mackerel, the American businesswoman executive who wants to be Senator Carly Fiorina is an insane person! Who would vote for the person who made such a crazy video? (A: Crazy people.) 23
The New 'Observer': Very Bro 2010-02-03
The New York Observer, once sort of a fruity, faggy, Jewy, weekly too-smart-for-its-own-good rag, always with just a little too much Yiddish, has had a real change in flavor this year! Kyle Pope came over as editor from his post-Portfolio break, and then he hired his buddy Chris Stewart (also formerly of Portfolio, and author of Hunting the Tiger! About the "dark, bloody world of Serb paramilitaries"!). And today they announced the hire of a new managing web editor, the awesomely-named Tyler Thoreson, late of the late (and, in my minority opinion, heinous) men.style.com. (READ MORE) 12
