Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Top Eleven Dumb Songs to Sing to Cats
11. I wish cats were a little bit taller, I wish cats were a baller.
10. Two of cats. Two cats that beat as one.
9. Little cat Corvette. Gato, you've got to slow down.
8. I'm looking at that cat in the mirror. I'm asking cats to change their ways. READ MORE
Those Clowns Down in Peru
Americans may be familiar with Peru as home to the breathtaking Machu Picchu, or perhaps as a bordering nation to Lake Titicaca. But, the Republic of Peru is also home to 29.4 million people (UN, 2010), rich natural resources like copper, silver, lead, zinc, oil and gold (BBC 2011) and a small but fruitful world of comedy in its capital city of Lima.
A friend connected me with an aspiring comedian in Lima named Charly Cervera. To start, he described to me the current comedic climate in Peru.
Comedy in Peru is a small world; it’s only really practiced in the capital as stage comedy…In the provinces, comedy shows aren’t very developed. There are very few people involved in comedy or dedicated to this art. The most popular comedians are those who are able to get TV shows, and then perform their monologues in theaters or small cafes around the city.
In July, the BBC reported that Peru was “said to have one of the world’s fasted growing economies.” However, the rural provinces in areas like the Amazon and the Andes Mountains are home to many indigenous groups — as well as Peru’s disproportionate poverty. This may explain why the comedy scene has yet to flourish in these areas. Or, these groups may already have their own culturally-specific brand of comedy. READ MORE
Hello, Friendly Prison Warden Helper Robots!
“As we’re almost done with creating its key operating system, we are now working on refining its details to make it look more friendly to inmates.”
—Professor Lee Baik-Chu of Kyonggi University, on the Asian Forum for Corrections' plans to begin a month-long trial deployment of four-wheeled, 5-foot-tall mobile surveillance robots in a prison in Pohang, South Korea in March. The robots "will feature cameras as well as different kinds of sensors to help them in their primary task, that is to detect risky behaviour including violence and suicide." But don't worry. "The robot is not a security guard. His work is not to stop the violence in prison," says professor Lee Good-Chul of the Corrections Forum. "They are just helpers." [Via]
This piece is ostensibly about the transactional nature of literary friendships, but I suspect it holds true for many other kinds of friendships as well. | November 30, 2011
"Don't Worry About It, Baby, I Use A Lot Of Wi-Fi"
Here is another way you are killing your sperm: "Working on a laptop wirelessly may hamper a man’s chances of fatherhood. In a study, sperm placed under a laptop connected to the internet through wi-fi suffered more damage than that kept at the same temperature but away from the wireless signal. The finding is important because previous worries about laptops causing infertility have focused on the heat generated by the machines."
Previously: Are You Killing Your Sperm With Food?
Do you know the six variables that predict happiness? According to this, they are: positive self-esteem, sense of perceived control, extroversion, optimism, positive social relationships and a sense of meaning and purpose to life. Or, to put it more succinctly, a remarkable talent for self-delusion. | November 30, 2011
Talking To Karen Russell, Author Of 'Swamplandia!'
To open with a bit of an understatement, author Karen Russell has had a very good year. Her debut novel, Swamplandia!, has received widespread praise since its publication in February (including a spot on the just-announced New York Times list of the 10 Best Books Of 2011). Then last month, the news broke that HBO has optioned the novel—a bildungsroman of sorts about a teenage alligator wrestler and her search for her missing sister—for what they describe as a “half hour comedy series." The adaptation will coincide with producer Scott Rudin’s other in-the-works literary projects, including Noah Baumbach’s take on Jonathan Franzen’s The Corrections, as well as an adaptation of Jeffrey Eugenides’ The Marriage Plot.
A quick note for fans of the book: details in terms of casting and potential writers for the HBO show remain hush-hush—though, before we hung up, Russell did relent and say that she secretly wants Bill Murray to play Chief Bigtree. Here we discuss her history with short stories, HBO, and the pleasures of the kind of news stories that can originate only in Miami (spoiler alert: there may be talk of unlicensed butt injections).
Daniel Crown: Swamplandia!, obviously, was based on the short story, "Ava Wrestles the Alligator." Considering that you broke on to the literary scene as a short fiction writer, do you see this becoming your MO of sorts? It certainly worked for Flannery O’Connor. Both of her novels, Wise Blood and The Violent Bear it Away, were based upon previously published short stories. In her case this seemed a rather efficient way to work.
Karen Russell: Swamplandia! is such an odd book in some ways because the short story that wound up getting published is kind of this ice-cream scoop of a much longer, sprawling story. At that point it was the longest thing I had ever written. Maybe 40 or 50 pages. It’s never quite been the right length. READ MORE
Pain-Proof: Becoming the Lady Aye
You’re never supposed to tell, but the secret to a bed of nails is that it hurts. It hurts a lot. But generally speaking, you’re on your back for fewer than 90 seconds, and by the time the tender flesh of your back meets the cold, sharp tines of the nails, your brain has downshifted into pure animal machismo, since your showmanship is on the line, and you just keep talking. You have to, you’re committed now — you’re wearing a ton of makeup and some frilly underwear, and you’ve already explained to a room full of people what you’re doing there with a medieval torture device (which, per your particular style, is painted pink-and-black and shaped like a corset), and that what they are about to see is 100 percent the genuine article, not unlike those used by the very fakirs of India… In industry parlance, this is known as spieling.
Even if you had wanted to back out and spare yourself the pain before, you certainly can’t quit now, because there’s some rather large gentleman (or perhaps two smaller individuals, if you’re feeling especially showy this evening) hovering over you with one foot placed gingerly on your pelvis, and trying to gather the momentum to step up and put his other foot on your sternum.
In the middle of all of this, there’s a moment, a small moment that can’t last more than a second, when you’re staring past the looming giant standing on your heart, past the pain of the spikes in your skin and into the glare of the lights and you think to yourself, “y’know, I have a graduate degree and, yet, here is where I’ve chosen to be.” This thought lasts no longer than the blink of an eye. READ MORE
A Scenic Tour Of Toxic Sites Across America
So we’ve all scanned Google Earth for the Indian ship-breaking beaches, or the rows of planes in aircraft boneyards, or the abandoned and overgrown town of Chernobyl. But toxic, garbage-y sites aren’t always limited to exotic, remote locales—sometimes they’re right past our backyards. Sometimes they’re even under our backyards.
Osborne Reef
In 1972, two million tires, clustered into groups with metal clips, were dumped into the ocean in a two birds/one stone attempt to clean up the landscape encourage natural reef growth. Instead, the well-intentioned ecologists created a 50-foot diameter dead zone a mile off the coast of Fort Lauderdale. Area marine life was forced away by the completely inhospitable environment. Additionally, the cheap metal of the clips soon corroded away in the salt water. The tires broke free from the bundles and, tires being tires, they became mobile. Soon tires were washing up after every tropical storm and hurricane on shores from North Carolina to the Florida Panhandle. There have been removal projects on and off since 2001, but at a cost of $17/per tire it’s a slow process. By the way, the last tire in was a ceremonial gold-colored beaut dropped by the Goodyear Blimp. I wonder if they’ve dredged that one up yet? READ MORE
Why Can't Dudes Have Sex in the Popular Movies?
If you fly a lot, you'll either be caught up on your fine literature reading or more likely on the comedies that are available in the iTunes store, home of DRM and overpriced rentals. (Also home to movies that are difficult to watch on planes, because suddenly there's boobies on your bright portable device and you're like "Oh my God, there's an eight-year-old about 20 inches behind me.") After the comedies that launched a thousand post-"Are Women Funny" magazine pieces, then in the iterated form of "Are Women Box Office" magazine pieces—those would be about Bridesmaids and then about Anna Faris, because of course we're all so very concerned about box office, since we're all Hollywood executives—there's a weird moment now when it's not really clear what comedy is and what comedy is okay and what's a boy comedy and what's a girl comedy, which all ends up meaning that dudes can't really have sex in movies anymore. READ MORE
Things Get Real/Surreal at the Whitney Museum
The Whitney Museum has unearthed some bizarre gems from its collection for Real/Surreal, a new exhibition that focuses on the tension and overlap between realism and surrealism in twentieth century art. Featuring big-name artists like Man Ray, Edward Hopper, Andrew Wyeth, and Joseph Cornell alongside equally remarkable lesser-known artists, Real/Surreal is “like visiting your grandmother’s attic and finding it loaded with forgotten treasures.” (The New York Times.)
Learn more about Real/Surreal and view installation photos on the Whitney’s website.
I Can Not Believe That Story About Pig Wings In Today's Dining Section
"Appert’s gets the fibulas from a plant in Sioux City, Iowa, that separates them from the rest of the shank and cuts some of them into two-ounce portions, using a saw developed by Mr. File. Appert’s workers tumble 2,000-pound batches in a paddle mixer that helps force a marinade of water, salt and 'natural pork flavorings' into the meat."
—Articles about the production processes behind our proud nation's suicidal dietary habits are always fascinating and disgusting. And oftentimes, also, confusingly appetizing. Barbecued "pig wings" sound delicious to me. (Especially the kind with blue cheese in Chicago. Yum! Wait, no, yuck! No, yum!) But the most confounding thing about John T. Edge's reporting about them in today's Dining section is that he somehow got through it without making a "when pigs fly" joke.
The Last Photographs of Occupy Los Angeles
Late last night, the LAPD raided Occupy Los Angeles. More than 1400 police officers—about 15% of the city's officers—were used to arrest more than 200 people, leaving the encampment in a shambles. Teams of police wore hazmat suits and K-9 units swept the camp, looking for incendiary devices, which they did not find. The tactical approach, guided by LAPD Chief Charlie Beck on-site, involved eventually cordoning off City Hall Park and arresting everyone trapped inside. The operation was concluded by 3:30 a.m.
The Stacey Q Gap
We are going to draw the generational line right down the middle here between those of you who are all, "Who?" and those of you who will be cursing my name for the rest of the day as you try to get this song out of your heads. So: Stacey Lynn Swain, you turn 53 today! Remember that time you were on "The Facts Of Life?" I do! You played an aspiring musician! I think you wore spandex leggings at some point! I spent four years learning the Spanish language and can barely remember one word today, let alone any kind of conjunction or idiomatic expression, but I remember that episode! The human brain is truly and mysterious and ultimately comical thing. Anyway, happy birthday! I hope you put on this dress and go celebrate.
An Argument Across the Internet: Startups, VCs and Lifestyle
I love watching an argument unfold across the Internet. Here's a thread that bounced from evangelist-loudmouth-romanticizer to startup engineer to VC where everyone's right and everyone's a bit wrong too.
• "You might be sad that you work long hours and that sometimes your boss yells at you when tensions run high. But you also know that there is nowhere on earth like Silicon Valley.... There’s so much money in Silicon Valley now that a lot of non-like minded people have rolled in. Looking for easy stock options at a hot startup. They start whining when they realize that they have to give so much to make it all work." — Michael Arrington READ MORE
