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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

14

My Gigwalk Experiment

I’m broke. And, like a lot of people in New York, one reason I'm broke is because I sink a lot of money into my iPhone. So when I heard about the recently launched and revamped Gigwalk, the app that lets you make extra money by using your iPhone to find odd jobs that businesses need doing, I jumped at the chance to be a guinea pig. Basically, you open the app, tap the red dots around you on the map and do a small job for a few dollars. There are tons of these red dots all over the city, and most consist of just taking photos. Submitted gigs earn you “streetcred," or Gigwalk karma points. The more streetcred you have, the more those map dots pay. The app keeps track of what you earned, and you collect the money through PayPal. It sounded easy enough, so I set out to see if you could make enough on Gigwalk to have a solid supplement to a too-small paycheck. READ MORE

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"Of last year's 100 highest-paid chief execs, 25 took home more in CEO pay than their company paid in 2010 federal income taxes." | August 31, 2011

You Have One New Death

Now we find out when a friend dies because another friend joins a Facebook group called “Remembering R.A.”

As far as we know, R. A. is alive and well in South America, getting hammered every night at hostels and making friends, so we click on a link and see that somebody made a group for people to reminisce and post pictures about R.A.

This group now serves as a notification that a 25-year-old has died.

Now we frantically scan his Facebook page to see what his last post was, but he wasn’t a big Facebook user and the last thing he posted was an August 13 album called "Nueva Camera," and a status update joking about how Lima was the foggiest place he’d ever seen. It is now August 20. He has been dead for one day. READ MORE

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"Short-selling is on the decent-sized list of practices which seem bizarre to civilians but to insiders are a routine feature of how modern markets work. A short-seller borrows shares in a company, and then sells them, with the intention of buying them back at a cheaper price, returning them to the lender, and trousering the profit. Say you decide that, to take one purely hypothetical example, News Corp is overvalued because – oh, I don’t know, just to make something up – because all its senior management are going to go to jail. The current price is $15.80 and you reckon it’s heading for ten bucks. So you find a willing lender, borrow one million shares with an agreement to return them on a specific date, and then you sell them. Notice that this selling is not a neutral event: by dumping $15.8 million of News Corp stock you actively help to drive prices down. Critics of short-selling point out that this shades into a form of market manipulation, which is illegal. A short-seller isn’t just betting on an outcome, he (it’s usually a he) is trying to bring it about. Anyway, some months pass, the News Corp execs are charged with multiple malfeasances, the stock tanks to $10, you buy back the million shares – this is called ‘covering the short’ – and give them back to the lender."
—John Lanchester explains short-selling in an extremely depressing analysis of our horrible economic outlook. | August 31, 2011

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Our Fat Future

If you are concerned about the forecast that nearly half of the population will be obese by the year 2030, do not fret: By the year 2030 nearly half of the population will be dead, and the survivors will be so thin that the concept of obesity will become some kind of folk memory, a mythical story of an era almost impossible to conceive of, in which restaurants (another concept that will be difficult to grasp) competed against each other to see who could create the most calorie-laden gimmick sandwiches. Children's fever dreams of fried chicken used as bread will be so vivid and disturbing that they will fall out of the trees in which they are forced to sleep for protection from the fires below. So chins up, everyone, the obesity epidemic is not going to happen.

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"Ok, so I'm an engineer and my engineering brain could come up with quite a few solutions that whilst might be good, could quite possibly make some wince. There is a method of shredding the body, then putting the remains into a super-compactor to reduce the size and remove all the liquids. This would make the human body take up about the same space as a couple of CD cases, which could be multi stacked in many ways."
—Here are 20 suggestions for coping with the lack of space in Britain's blighted boneyards. | August 31, 2011

Your Comedy Is So Much Cooler Than Mine

It feels like your comedy is so much cooler than mine.

You've never done an open mic before. Instead you did Fez. You did Luna Lounge. You did the old Largo. You did Eating It. You did Invite Them Up. You did Tinkle. You did Rififi. You did Comedy Death Ray. You did Big Terrific. You did Meltdown Comics before it was mainstream. Now you do your own secret show in the back supply closet of a bankrupt old record store that only sells really cool records.

You referenced Das Racist in one of your jokes and got lots of nods and smirks of audience recognition. You have forced audiences to invent new ways to physically express cool cred so they can appropriately react to your references.

You have public conversations on Twitter with other cool alt comics and celebs with indie cred.

You've been blown away by a live Bill Cosby show probably like one thousand times. You watch old Richard Pryor standup specials every night. READ MORE

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"The setting is dropped-ceiling bland, with a few plants and paintings for color. This is in keeping with the neighborhood’s restaurant history: 456 resembles nothing so much as a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown."
—At the corner of Nostalgia and Zen you will find Sam Sifton's review of 456 Shanghai Cuisine. Oh my God, I am SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. | August 31, 2011

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Rental Brokers Are Useless

At the beginning of this month I spent about a week and a half of improbably beautiful, sunny, breezy, vacationing-in-New-York days huddled over my laptop in a borrowed apartment, hitting “refresh” over and over again. I would wake up in the mornings and instinctively reach for the phone (kept next to my pillow) and check my email to see whether anything had changed. I often didn’t shower until 3 or 4 p.m. I survived, largely, on coffee, and I slept at most a few hours a night. I didn’t read the news or even watch television except for that one night the stupor was so thick that I managed to get through four episodes of "True Blood" without actually suffering a brain hemorrhage brought on by excruciating dialogue. This, if I recall correctly, was what having a full-time, soul-destroying corporate lawyer job was like. But this past month I was not working. I was not getting paid. I was just trying to find a place to live in New York this September, in a rising market where the vacancy rate in July was well under 1%.

The wrinkle was that I was trying to do it without paying a broker’s fee. I have rented five apartments in the city, in three different boroughs, and not once have I paid a broker. It’s become a point of pride for me, though this time around I could have been accused of carrying the strength of my conviction to the point of lunacy. I certainly scraped up against the edge of it in August. READ MORE

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Here you will find a picture of a squirrel making out with a plastic dinosaur. | August 31, 2011

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Rival Beekeeping Gangs Throw Down In Savage Conflict

"Tropical Storm Irene moved through New York City on Sunday knocking out power, causing flooding in some neighborhoods and knocking over many trees. In one corner of Fort Greene Park in Brooklyn, the storm also set off a fight — over bees. In a gale wind from the storm, a hollowed-out branch of an enormous tree was ripped off, exposing a hive of 30,000 to 40,000 honeybees. The hive’s discovery was a jackpot for the beekeeping community and word spread quickly on Facebook and Twitter that a feral hive was up for grabs. Two beekeepers jumped at the chance to claim the bees, unknowingly setting off a feud between two of the city’s main beekeeping groups."
Of course it did.

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Okay, Summer of 2011, this is how you're going out? Fine. "Jack White has teamed up with Detroit horror-rappers Insane Clown Posse for a new single on White's Third Man Records. According to White and the ICP, the A-side 'Leck Mich Im Arsch' is based on a lost piece of music penned by none other than Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (The title translates to 'lick me in the arse.')" You can hear the track here. Do note that it includes the lyric, "Call it a fetish/call him a freak/call him in need of a tongue on his buttcheek," which is straight out of the Cole Porter playbook. | August 31, 2011

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Laura Dern Is Our Only Hope For Bringing David Lynch Back

The first in a series on collaborations that we now take for granted but initially made little sense.

Fans of David Lynch are accustomed, by now, to the half-decade wait. It took five years after Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me unjustly bombed out of theaters in 1992 before we received Lost Highway. Later, once Mulholland Drive completed its strange, tortured path to realization—from stillborn network teevee pilot for ABC to a New York Film Festival premiere!—Lynch’s IMDB page indulged another similar gap when it came to feature-length projects. That streak of inactivity was only broken when INLAND EMPIRE smeared its digital abstractions and idiosyncratic willfulness (all-caps title included) across screens on the festival circuit.

Now we’re five years on since that work—and we haven’t heard a whisper of a rumor about a new film. READ MORE

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A Fresh Foot: The Great Canadian Severed Feet Mystery

"Tuesday’s discovery marks the eighth foot to be found on the B.C. coast since August 2007. Three more have washed up in nearby Washington.... All of the feet discovered so far have been in running shoes."
But who are missing the feet? Yeah, here's the Wikipedia page, Encyclopedia Brown. (via)

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Panda Poop Will Save The World

"Giant Pandas are well-loved for their distinctive appearance and sedentary nature. Now they will receive even greater adoration and attention for their bowel-based contribution to the development of a clean energy future. In a national meeting at the American Chemical Society, researchers presented a study identifying panda poop as a source of enzyme-producing bacteria that breaks down plant materials in a way that is useful for biofuel production." [Via]

Photo by Hung Chung Chih, via Shutterstock