Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Is the Hutaree Militia the Final Word in Lunacy--or Just the Beginning?
It's hard to know how worked up to get about the Hutaree, the Antichrist-obsessed militia group arrested by the FBI over the weekend for allegedly plotting to kill a police officer, blow up members of law enforcement at the resulting funeral, and thus set in motion the annihilation of the federal government. When the Tea Party kicks you out of its massive tent, and neighboring militias dismiss you as a cult, you might just be out there on the fringiest fringe in Fringeville. READ MORE
Catholic League pedophile-excuser Bill Donohue is most truly the most spectacularly most horrible person imaginable. | March 31, 2010
"Lyudmila M. Alexeyeva, a prominent Russian human-rights activist who is 82 years old, was punched in the head on Wednesday night while she was visiting a memorial in a subway station that was bombed by terrorists on Monday.... 'Some young man came out who obviously had been waiting for me, and said, Are you still alive? And then he hit me on the head,' she said." Later tonight, Eric Cantor will be upstaging this. | March 31, 2010
'Newsweek' To Schlep Back Uptown; Kaplan Inc. Gets the Glory Spot
Five weeks ago, we took a serious look at the Washington Post Company's finances for 2009. The cable TV and the Kaplan Educational Services arm account for about 75% of income. The rest is Newsweek and the Post and everything else. So it makes some hierarchical sense that now Newsweek is being booted back uptown, to offices now occupied by cramped Kaplanites-and Kaplan is taking over the glamorous 163,000 square-foot Newsweek space at 395 Hudson. We imagine that the dot com-side there feels even more disenfranchised by the move, as the in-house announcement came not long after one in which they learned they are losing their leader, Newsweek.com editor Devin Gordon, to GQ. Newsweek lived at 444 Madison Ave. for decades; moved to nine floors on 57th Street. And in May of 2008, they signed on the new space-not long before the commercial market prices began to slide. What's worse for the terms of that deal? Cushman and Wakefield brokers represented the tenant and they are the building's leasing agents as well. Eesh.
Mitosis: The Movie
Here's a time-lapse video of mitosis, the process of cell division and replication. Discover describes it as "a beautiful dance" which
begins with cells creating the right number of partners, by duplicating all of their chromosomes. At first, the dancers haphazardly mingle with each other but as things get underway, they separate and line up in a neat row. Then, dramatically, they shimmy across to opposite ends of the room, following long spindles of protein. Once the partners split up, the cell pinches down its middle and separates them forevermore. Without this courtly dance, you would never have been anything more than a fertilised egg. Life simply wouldn't work.I don't know about all that, but it is kind of cool. It could use a better soundtrack, though.
Anish Kapoor's Insane Olympic Tower
Holy Jesus, they're really going to build this Anish Kapoor structure in London for the Olympics. Higher than the Statue of Liberty! I unabashedly love Kapoor and think he's a genius and this is kind of amazing-bonkers! I wish it wasn't red though? But that's useful, because it'll disguise all the blood from the many knifecrimes that shall occur upon it.
A dude won't pretend to make out with Virginia Madsen for one milllllion dollars. | March 31, 2010
Water-Milk Last Beverage Option for Socialist America's Malnourished Tweens
After Congress comes back from its Hot Spring Break or whatever, the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010 [PDF!] is out of committee and awaiting arguing and posturing and maybe voting. It'll expand food programs for low-income children pretty radically, from what we can tell. Which is great! On the other hand, some kids have too much food, or something, and they are storing it in their bodies, so the bill will, in its Food Death Panels section, take food away from them in the form of giving them food that is barely food. Also the bill would cause schools to maybe stop feeding children millions of pounds in recalled meats, but whatever. Also! It will make sure that all children only drink skim milk, according to the Times: "For example, milk is the biggest single source of saturated fat on the lunch line. The bill would allow only skim milk to be offered, banning whole and 2 percent milk." While this is not actually stated anywhere in the bill, at all, that is possibly true! Because what we know now is that milk is what makes children obese.
Knifecrime Island Pet Shop Owner Gets Electronic Bracelet After Underage Goldfish Sting
A pet store owner in Britain has been sentenced to home confinement during evening hours after selling a pet-in this case, a goldfish-to an unaccompanied 15-year-old boy. (You have to be 16 before you are allowed to buy a pet without an adult.) The woman claims she thought the lad appeared to be of legal age, but this isn't the first time she's been in trouble with the law. READ MORE
Cat Litter Commercial Brings New Levels Of Cuteness To Cat Doody
Not being much of a cat person, my knowledge of feline behavior is at best a very shallow pool. (But growing!) So it's not surprising that I was previously unaware of how much advertising aimed at cat owners is surreal or downright psychedelic. I mean, this is a commercial for a cat shit removal product, for God's sake. You people are bizarre. [Via]
George Pataki, Pitchman
There's a lot of ways to make money as a former politician! You could consult on "security services" like Rudy Giuliani. You could write a memoir, like everyone. You could retrieve coins from the flopping intestines of flayed dusky prisoners, like Dick Cheney. Or you could become a slightly slatternly spokesbot for penny-stock startups, like George Pataki-who has now lent his name and visage to two concerns, one of which went big-time belly-up last month.
"I recall fondly the outdoor drinks of my youth: the iced tea and vodka in a Poland Spring bottle, gin and juice in a Nalgene." Oh yes. This weekend, people: Outdoor Drinks Season is officially begun! | March 31, 2010
Australian PM Says His White Trash Better Than Ours
Prison Island's Pirate King is incensed at remarks made by Robin Williams about his nation of convicts. Responding to a series of jokes Williams made on David Letterman's show (sample: "The Australians are basically English rednecks," "If Darwin had landed in Australia he would have said: 'I'm wrong, I don't know what I was thinking,'" etc.), Prime Minister/blackout drunk Kevin Rudd suggested that the comedian "should go and spend a bit of time in Alabama before he frames comments about anyone being particularly redneck." Which, you know, fair enough. Also, I don't really expect Kevin Rudd to know this, but nobody over here really thinks Robin Williams is all that funny anymore. Relax, mate! Have a drink!
Men "Also" Take "Job Breakups" "Harder" Than Women!
As we all know (right, ladies?), men have a "harder time" with relationship breakups than women. But that is not all the suffering that men do in this world! Come to New Jersey and meet the unemployed guys: "Ridgewood's Men in Transition group-not to be confused with a Men in Transition support group for teenage fathers in Minnesota or Men in Transition for jailed inmates in Texas or Men in Transition for men going through divorces in Seattle-is for men who have been laid off from their high-paying Manhattan jobs in business and finance." The Coach of this group explains all to Irina Aleksander: "In my experience, this is not something women struggle with. They can just get together for the first time and really put it out there, talk about their feelings and what they're going through. Men would never be able to do that. Even when it's only men, they have difficulties." Don't you feel bad, women? (And even if you somehow don't, this is still a great read.)
