Let’s make this a thing: “Is there an anger equivalent to the white whine? The beige rage?”

Clear your calendars now: Next year, we can all gather at a monument in South Carolina (“about 20 feet long, 10 feet wide and at least 12 feet tall”) to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Hootie & The Blowfish.

“What’s that? You miss 90s-style grunge? Lemme check in the back. Nash, we got any 90’s-style grunge? Oh, super! Stick a ‘Sister Havana’ riff on it and send it out here, we’ve got a customer!”
–Urge Overkill is back.

Now this is happening: “If you are looking for a ‘salad soulmate,’ all you have to do is create a free profile on saladmatch.com and your “best’ mate will be selected based on ‘which Just Salad location you frequent, when you frequent it, and what ingredients you love in your salad.’ Similar to other online dating sites (eHarmony, Match.com, Zoosk.com), SaladMatch.com boasts a ‘state-of-the-art matching algorithm” and guarantees your will have lunch or dinner tastes in common.’”

Real talk: “Nassau County State Of Mind” > the candied slab of saccharine that is the “Glee” version of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys’ “Empire State Of Mind.” And despite this Autotuned, overly precious assault on his Big Apple anthem, Jay-Z is still having a pretty decent run this week, what with his bonkers, cameo-studded Yankee Stadium shows and the fact that he hasn’t released a cringe-inducing AC/DC cover yet. (There’s still time, though?)

“To develop a career, everyone uses what they have, even their body. That’s absolutely legitimate. Everyone should use their body as they see fit. As long as there is consent, there is no violence and if there is no violence then there’s no problem… So, even if a deputy ‘outed’ his or herself and admitted they had sold themselves for an electoral candidacy, that wouldn’t be reason enough for them to resign their seat.”
-Italian deputy Giorgio Stracquadanio, a member of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi’s People of Freedom party, makes the “all politicians are whores” line a bit too explicit.

Anti-Islamic Center Politicians and Pundits Whose Names Appear Nowhere on the 9/11 Memorial Supporters List

by Abe Sauer

Newt Gingrich
Bill McCollum
Marco Rubio
Harry Reid
Tim Walberg
Leonard Leo
Pat Toomey
Howard Dean
Nathan Deal
Dick Morris
Karl Rove
Roy Barnes
Carl Paladino
Sarah Palin
Glenn Beck
Dean Skelos
Mike Huckabee
Gretchen Carlson
Steve Doocy
Brian Kilmeade
Ron McNeil
Jeff Greene
Donald Trump
Bill O’Reilly
Gary Bernsten
Mark Kirk
Mitt Romney
Rick Lazio
Peter King
Michelle Malkin
Roy Blunt
Geert Wilders
Rand Paul
David Patterson
Sean Hannity
Carly Fiorina
Pastor Terry Jones
John Boehner

Longtime NBC correspondent Edwin Newman, “known to three decades of postwar television viewers for his erudition, droll wit and seemingly limitless penchant for puns,” has died. As one of those three decades of viewers, Newman’s face and voice were pretty much the definition of “newsman” to me (sorry, Garrick Utley). I also recall the episode of “Saturday Night Live” he hosted (musical guest: Kool and the Gang), but that does not seem to be on the YouTubes or Hulus or what have you. But go here to see his 1978 profile of Kiss. We used to live in that world! Edwin Newman was 91.

In advance of Chanukah, profiteering Jews have found a new way to make money from children at play: “As Silly Bandz continue to be hugely popular, they’re getting knocked off left and right. A company called Benny’s Educational Toys is selling a Jewish-themed line of bracelets called JewlyBandz. Like Meshuga Bandz, JewlyBandz come in shapes like a menorah.” The gimmick is not without controversy, however: Note that one of the “bandz” is in the shape of a jug filled with the blood of Christian children. Outrageous! [Via]

Scientists Prove Existence Of “Relationship Black Hole”

Have you started dating someone recently? Have you noticed that in the rush of your new relationship and finding out all the cute things about your new squeeze and the dates and the fun and the lovey-dovey social-networking proclamations and omg the sex that some of your closest friendships have run a little, well, cold? Well, OK, you probably didn’t notice. (Because omg the sex!) But that’s all right, because once you come up for air and/or breakup drinks, Science will be here to remind you why certain people haven’t been returning your calls as quickly as they might have mere months ago.

[Oxford University researcher Robin] Dunbar’s team used an internet-based questionnaire to quiz 428 women and 112 men about their relationships. In total, 363 of the participants had romantic partners. The findings suggest that a new love interest has to compensate for the loss of two close friends.

Speaking at the British Science Festival in Birmingham, Professor Dunbar said: “This was a surprise for us. We hadn’t expected it.

“If you don’t see people, your emotional engagement with them drops off and does so quickly. What I suspect is that your attention is so wholly focused on the romantic partner you don’t get to see the other folks you had a lot to do with before, and so some of those relationships start to deteriorate.”

“What I suspect”? Hmm. Now I want to know what sort of personal experience Dunbar has with this particular phenomenon! Because that is so not the only potential scenario at play here.