What would the second season of “Freaks and Geeks” have been like?

Nice video, right? A griffon vulture soars in the sky, its mighty 8-foot-wingspan holding it aloft above the desert. Beautiful to watch, right? Yeah, well, that’s what he wants you to think. Actually, that vulture is a Mossad operative, collecting information that will help Israel take over the world. He and his friends, a Zionist cabal down in the sands of the Negev, are plotting against the governments of the surrounding Arab countries. And eating carrion, of course. They’re very sneaky, those bald, large-beaked Jew spy vultures. But for one of them, on a secret surveillance mission to the Saudi Arabian city of Hyaal, the jig is up!

“You know a trend has officially jumped the shark when it becomes the subject of an adult film, especially one starring Ron Jeremy. So perhaps that’s why I didn’t even blink when a friend forwarded me a news release about a new X-rated film called ‘The Flying Pink Pig,’ with a story line that revolves around an eponymous fictional food truck that serves sausage to Hollywood.” [Via]

Huh. There really must be something to that study about how binge drinkers exercise so much. After a heartbreaking defeat in the 2009 Last Call Liquor Brawl competitive drinking championship, former title-holder/Atlanta rapper Playboy Tre sets himself to a grueling regimen of sit-ups, lunges, sprints and running up steps like Rocky Balboa. All while chugging cans of beer and knocking back shots with a life-size cardboard cut-out of Billy Dee Williams. Science: right again!

Did you hear? Starbucks is changing their logo! Awl pal Bex Schwartz takes a look at the brand’s evolution.

This morning the New York Times hinted that Dick Cheney was still working on his memoir, even while he decides whether to get a heart transplant. Well, that makes sense: because while it was originally slated for this spring, we’ve learned that Dick Cheney’s memoir will now not arrive until August 30th of this year. Cheney will find himself in good company. Other books from the Simon and Schuster imprint, Threshold Editions, to be released this year include, in July, Pamela Geller’s The Post-American Presidency, which “critically examines the Obama administration’s ominous and revealing moves against our basic freedoms, particularly as he seizes control of the three engines of the American economy.” Also Laura Ingraham’s The Obama Diaries, and Jack Cashill’s Deconstructing Obama, which asks: “What if Barack Obama’s life story is more myth than fact?” Yes, what if?

“The cutest girl in leggings isn’t the skinniest one or the tallest one or the one who goes to the gym the most, it’s the one with the smile on her face and the world in her heart.” [Via]

And there’s more: “Thousands of dead crabs have washed up along the Kent coast, with environmental experts believing the cold weather in Britain is to blame. The Velvet swimming crabs — also called devil crabs — are thought to be victims of Britain’s coldest December in 120 years, which left sea temperatures much lower than average. More than 40,000 of the crabs — Britain’s largest swimming crab — are littering beaches around Thanet, along with smaller numbers of whelks, sponges and anemones.”

“Workers with the U.S. Coast Guard and the Texas General Land Office used pitchforks on Wednesday to pierce and remove chunks of beef fat clogging the Houston Ship Channel, shutting down nearly a mile of one of the nation’s busiest marine arteries.”

@mikkipedia We have ombudsmen. They are called commenters.less than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

Nick Denton
nicknotned

You know what, you guys? I consider you all my obudsmen too. And my ombudsladies; I love me some ombudsladies. Anyway, you’re all buds! Congratulations on the promotion.