by Joe Veix

A..V. Club (A-)
• plaid-clad
• mountain-man
• wintry
• oft-told
• cabin-bound
• warm
• billowy
• bigger
• slicker
• stranger
• indulgent
• pretty
• prettier
• grander
• layered
• adventurous
• irreverent
• resplendent
• irony-straddling
• smooth
• expansive
• spacey
• elusive
• formless
• lonely

Pitchfork (9.5)
• irresistible
• heartbroken
• hushed
• introspective
• alluring
• rustic
• experimental
• broader
• sophisticated
• warm
• mythological
• logical
• surprising
• ambitious
• unusual
• subtle
• holistic
• uncanny
• breathtaking
• elemental
• unexpected
• flawless
• unabashed
• unironic
• almost naive
• long-maligned
• knotty
• careful
• rare
• inevitable
• not something you would describe as angelic

Rolling Stone (3.5/5)
• beardy
• electrified
• wooly
• potent
• unlikely
• gnarly
• logical
• baroque
• woodsy
• raw-honey
• refracted
• shimmery
• elegant
• engaging
• schmaltz
• bearded
• rural

The Guardian (5/5)
• ethereal
• serene
• magnificent
• intricately
• dazzled
• surging
• supple
• joyful
• swollen
• emotional
• mesmerizing

Spin (8/10)
• bearded
• rootsy
• penetrating
• potent
• stunning
• enchanted
• gorgeous
• unique
• beautiful
• thundering
• bass-in-your-face
• singular
• lyrical
• idiosyncratic
• loosey-goosey
• inveterate
• taste-flouting
• layered

Entertainment Weekly (A-)
• critically adored
• folky
• isolated
• bendy
• scruffy
• unassuming
• emboldened
• beautiful
• widened
• proggy
• yacht-rock
• swirling
• haunting
• beardo
• forlorn
• enveloping
• uplifting

Joe Veix is a writer and humorist based in Brooklyn. He compiled this list while isolated in a cabin deep in the woods.

“The movie stars Michael Fassbender and Viggo Mortensen as strangely good-looking versions of Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud…. and Vincent Cassel is there, too.”
 — *faints dramatically*

“The New York Post is raising its newsstand price to 75 cents beginning Monday, according to sources at the newspaper. Editor-in-chief Col Allan did not respond to calls about the hike. Memos sent to reporters on Tuesday demanded better stories on Monday to compensate for the price increase.”
 — Consider yourselves warned: the Post will continue to suck clear through the weekend.

Is this Britain’s worst sheep dog? Sure, why the hell not.

“I had a very important appointment with Tina Brown that morning, and I was racing through the cream cheese inventory so as to be on time.”
 — As the Upper West Side home of H&H; Bagels suddenly shuts (now one must go to 639 W. 46th St.!), it is not a terrible time to read Thomas Beller’s account of being the inventory man at H&H; in 1992.

Huh. Somehow there are apparently STILL some unreleased Nirvana tracks. Also: FEEL OLD.

It’s nice to see Britons mixing ancient traditions with more recent modes of behavior: “On the longest day of the year yesterday in Wiltshire, the sun rose above a green horizon and kissed the ancient monument of Stonehenge. But while the arc of the sky has not changed over the past five millennia, the gathering that greets the summer solstice each year has become something very different from its earliest incarnation…. though the precise purpose of the site remains a contentious issue, not even the most maverick of historians would suggest it has ever been an arena for drink-fuelled fist-fights between bare-chested men in tracksuit bottoms.”

Photo by Ann Wuyts

Wanna hear a new track from the Mekons? Yes you do! Here you go.

My God, are they… crumping in that small Texas town? So yes: here is the trailer for the Footloose remake “that no one asked for and everyone keeps forgetting about.” Expect the Dirty Dancing remake any day. Nothing is sacred, kill your childhood, etc.

Here are some tips on how to cope with “summer depression,” or, as I like to call it, “summer.” And here are some better tips. Whatever works!