Hahahaha, suck it, moon! Even your supposedly unique minerals can be found right here on earth! What are you good for, moon? Apart from mockery, NOTHING!

Why can’t we stop watching baby animal videos? BECAUSE THEY’RE ADORABLE, obviously. But also there is some kind of Science involved that I didn’t really follow because I was too busy looking at the kitty who was all “WHA?” Anyway, enjoy.

Do you want to be able to talk knowledgeably at fancy dinner parties with the ruling class about employment in America? Sure you do! So here are just a few simple graphs from our pals at the St. Louis Fed with a longer view — going back to either 2000 or to the early 90s, depending on data available — that explaining the trending in employment, hiring, unemployment and workforce participation in America. Above: what they call the “U6” number. That’s the combined percentage of unemployed and underemployed, essentially.

Now let’s look at job openings, at actual hires and at layoffs since the year 2000, in that order. These are all fairly good trends at the moment!

And what’s the actual hard “unemployment rate” among civilians, as a percentage?

And the actual number of new people just recently seeking unemployment assistance.

Finally, this is the “civilian labor force participation rate.” That expresses the percentage of employed and unemployed people in the group of people who could be employed in the country — so that excludes students, the retired, the young, the imprisoned, etc.

There! Now you’re just as informed as a plutocrat!

Paolo Conte, the incomparable Italian singer/songwriter, turns 75 today. There are perhaps ten artists whose presence in this world makes my own somehow more bearable to myself, and he is one of them. Happy birthday, Paolo!

What’s Your Most Played Song?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57eii7Bdf3g

Now that we’ve finally cleared out all of those “best of” and “year end” music lists of 2011 — and good riddance! — here’s something different: most played songs. The songs that show up on your most played list aren’t necessarily the songs that defined the year for you. They can be timeless — the comfort songs you return to over and over again. Or they can reflect periods of brief, intense obsession, such as, in my case, with “My Heart is a Drummer” by Allo Darlin’, which I first listened to on a recommendation from a friend, and proceeded to play 50 times in a span of three days.

Here then, from 43 music writers, editors, critics and assorted Awl music lovers, is a behind-closed-screens look at the most played songs in their digital-music libraries, as counted on iTunes or Spotify accounts. Keep in mind: Some people use iTunes mainly at home or at the gym, which can make counts lopsided; others didn’t have much of a digital archive as they recently got new computers, cleaned out their hard drives or just prefer to listen to records and CDs. For fun, we also included links to participants’ “best of 2011”-type lists, for those who had ‘em.

Alex Balk, The Awl
“Going Home (Theme of ‘Local Hero’)” by Mark Knopfler, 16 plays

Zach Baron, The Daily
“Re: Stacks” by Bon Iver, 70 plays
The Daily: Songs of the Year

Amos Barshad, Grantland/Spin
“Trust Issues” by Drake, 52 plays
Grantland: The Year in Music

Lauren Beck, The L Magazine
“Ever Falling in Love” by Times New Viking, 54 plays
The L Magazine: The Top 25 Albums of 2011

Shirley Braha, MTV Hive
“Twelve Roses” by Beach Fossils, 48 plays
MTV Hive’s Best of 2011

August Brown, Los Angeles Times
“I’m On One” by Drake, DJ Khaled, Rick Ross & Lil Wayne, 48 plays
Los Angeles Times: Year-End Top 10 List

Dave Bry, The Awl
“Jigsaw Falling Into Place” by Radiohead, 31 plays

Tobias Carroll, Freelancer/Vol 1
“Always Returning” by Brian Eno, 109 plays
Dusted Magazine: 2011

Amanda Dobbins, New York Magazine
“Rolling in the Deep” by Adele, 1748 plays

Sasha Frere-Jones, The New Yorker
“Katy On A Mission” by Katy B/“Tangerine” by Led Zeppelin, play count n/a
The New Yorker: The Best Music of 2011: The British Singers
The New Yorker: The Best Music of 2011: The American Singers
The New Yorker: The Best Hip-Hop of 2011
The New Yorker: Lists of Lists and Endings of Endings

Adam Frucci, Splitsider
“I Was There” by the War on Drugs, 32 plays

Caryn Ganz, Spin
“’Till the World Ends” by Britney Spears, 58 plays
Spin’s 20 Best Songs of 2011

Mark Graham, VH1 Tuner
“Here’s Looking At You, Kid” by The Gaslight Anthem, 68 plays
VH1 Tuner: The Best Songs of 2011 According to Your Friendly Neighborhood VH1 Staffers

Leah Greenblatt, Entertainment Weekly
“Always See Your Face” by Love, 65 plays

Peter Holslin, San Diego City Beat
“DC Rails” by Ale Mania, 290 plays
San Diego City Beat: The best, and worst, music of 2011

Amy Phillips, Pitchfork
“Summer’s Kiss” by the Afghan Whigs, 18 plays
Pitchfork’s Staff List: The Top 100 Tracks of 2011

Amanda H. Hatfield, Brooklyn Vegan
“The Perfect Fit” by the Dresden Dolls, 52 plays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtBr5JKSuks

Michael Edison Hayden, GQ
“Heaven or Las Vegas” by Cocteau Twins, 42 plays

Will Hermes, Rolling Stone, author of Love Goes to Buildings on Fire
“Good Intentions Paving Company” by Joanna Newsom, 15 plays
Rolling Stone: 50 Best Singles of 2011

Hilary Hughes, The Weekly Dig
“Slight Figure of Speech” by the Avett Brothers, 286

Margo Jefferson, author of On Michael Jackson
“If You Want Me To Stay” by Sly Stone, 208 plays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzddyeXvbSE

Maura Johnston, Village Voice
“America’s Suitehearts” by Fall Out Boy, play count n/a
Village Voice: 47 Great Songs From 2011

Steve Kandell, Spin
“Beat It” by Michael Jackson, 57 plays
Spin’s 20 Best Songs of 2011

Frannie Kelley, NPR/The Record
“Shine Blockas” by Big Boi ft. Gucci Mane, 325 plays
NPR Music’s 100 Favorite Songs of 2011

Gerrick D. Kennedy, Los Angeles Times
“Countdown” by Beyonce, 42 plays
Los Angeles Times: Best of 2011 in local hip-hop and R&B;

Scott Lapatine, Stereogum
“Take Care” by Drake/”Snowflake” by Kate Bush, 10 plays
Stereogum’s Top 50 Albums of 2011

Rachael Maddux, Freelancer
“Rambling Man” by Laura Marling, 46 plays

Dave Mandl, The Brooklyn Rail/WFMU
“The Lonely Goatherd” from The Sound of Music, 489 plays

David Marchese, Spin
“Skinny Love” by Bon Iver, 30
Spin’s 20 Best Songs of 2011

Jane Marie, The Hairpin
“Shakey Dog” by Ghostface Killah, 123 plays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2e_Zp2JxTI

Matthew Perpetua, Fluxblog/Rolling Stone/Pitchfork
“Countdown” by Beyonce, 98 plays
Fluxblog 2011 Survey Mix

Caryn Rose, Freelance/author of B-Sides and Broken Hearts
“Bulletproof” by the Afghan Whigs, 653 plays

Alex Ross, The New Yorker
“Bocet — Lament,” recorded by Béla Bartók, from Smithsonian Folkways collection called Folk Music of Rumania, 66 plays
The New Yorker: The Best Classical Music Recordings of 2011

Doree Shafrir, Rolling Stone
“Dog Days Are Over” by Florence + the Machine, 133 plays
Rolling Stone: 50 Best Singles of 2011

Maria Sherman, Freelance/WNYU Music Director & DJ
“Collapse” by Iceage, 146 plays
WNYU 2011 Top 10 List

Hank Shteamer, Time Out New York
“Ritual” by Ghost, 10 plays
Time Out New York: The best (and worst) music of 2011

Choire Sicha, The Awl
“On Parade” by Electrelane, 110 plays

Jessica Suarez, MTV Hive
“Peripheral Visionaries” by Young Galaxy, 11
MTV Hive’s Best of 2011

Seth Colter Walls, Slate/Village Voice/Washington Post
“Free Your Mind and Your Ass Will Follow” by Funkadelic, 100+ plays
The Awl: 100 Great (Not Best!) Songs of 2011

Chris Weingarten, Spin
“Lightweight Jammin’” by E-40, 18 plays
Spin’s 20 Best Songs of 2011

Edith Zimmerman, The Hairpin
“Dancing On My Own” by Robyn, 134 plays

Lindsay Zoladz, Pitchfork/Canonball
“Disciplinarian” by Eternal Summers, 81plays
Pitchfork’s Staff List: The Top 100 Tracks of 2011

Nadia Chaudhury’s most played song is “Good Intentions Paving Company” by Joanna Newsom with 120 play counts.

by Mark Bibbins, Editor

Ca’Mea

for John and David

What is it about the certainty of snow

that makes us feel human and mortal — 
the warmth and care of being inside

while winter goes about her usual business,
flakes swirling in the wind
just outside the restaurant door?

But here inside, conversation is warm,
a glowing fire, there can never be too much pleasure,
or if there were, it is already beyond our human capacity

to wonder, which is so great in itself, alone,
without our pushing it along the evening route
to far beyond us, within you, and then

here before you or beyond you too — 
oh that crazy guy, that insane woman,
that saint or sinner of old — that’s all, folks.

Eugene Richie’s most recent book of poems is Psyche and Amor (Factory Hollow Press), with Rosanne Wasserman. He is the Director of Writing at Pace University in New York City.

Do you know how many poems there are here in The Poetry Section’s vast archive? Me neither! Why don’t you count ’em up and get back to me. I bet it’s a bunch.

You may contact the editor at poems@theawl.com.

“’Movie critic’ isn’t a real job. Working in a depressing office is. Driving a bus is. Mechanic is. Doctor, dentist, lawyer, etc. That people make a living WATCHING MOVIES and INTERVIEWING CELEBRITIES is a HOBBY YOU LUCK INTO CONNING SOMEONE TO PAY YOU TO DO. The fact that I read 100 numbskulls on Twitter whose lives consist of sitting around watching BluRays and going to FREE SCREENINGS bears no resemblance to the actual existence of going to a florescent-hell buzzing-light fixture OFFICE SPACE existence of brutal mundanity and boredom and sameness that constitutes an ACTUAL JOB.

I don’t feel sorry for any fired critic; They should all be fired…”
 — It goes on.

“Amy, a single mother living in a middle-class suburb (she asked that only her middle name be used), is an educated professional who is reasonably savvy in most medical matters. But every month she goes through an arduous, prolonged and humiliating process: filling a Ritalin prescription for herself and her 11-year-old son.”
 — Uh… well, the point about her having to run around to different pharmacies just to get her prescription filled is a good one, because that’s b.s. (Though that’s what we get for letting monopolies exist! Thanks, Walgreen’s!) But you know, Viagra’s been on the market since 1998, and no one’s died of shame yet. (Although probably a few have bit it from priapism.) Maybe take a fresh look at Our Bodies, Ourselves, so you can go out and fill your skin rash and various ladyparts prescriptions without feeling bad about yourselves? Also, please, call me about feeling shamed after you’ve gone out to fetch a prescription for Zidovudine.

“The O.C.” Characters, In Order

by Jessica Misener

22. Lindsay

21. Zach

20. Marissa Cooper

19. That guy with the gun who shot someone at that party

18. Carter

17. A palm tree with blonde hair

16. Kirsten Cohen

15. “Mmm whatcha say”

14. Jimmy Cooper

13. Oliver

12. Death Cab for Cutie

11. Kaitlin Cooper, Season 1

10. Slutty Kaitlin Cooper, Seasons 3 and 4

9. Caleb

8. Ryan Atwood

7. Bi-curious Olivia Wilde

6. Summer Roberts

5. Julie Cooper

4. Luke

3. Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows

2. Sandy Cohen

1. Seth Cohen

Jessica Misener still wonders what happened to the Cohens’ maid.

Looking for a reason to avoid doing yoga other than the fact that the people who do it are stricken with some terrible disease where all they can talk about is how great yoga is and how terrific they feel and the sense of inner peace and blah blah blah namaste? Well, also it will mess you up. Mess you up bad. Just stay sedentary, we all wind up in the same place at the end.