Are you numb to the exhaustion yet?

Remember back before everything was crazy all the time? Me neither. Here’s something new from Todd Terje filtered through the sensibilities of Four Tet, it will be difficult for you not to enjoy. And then it’s back to the nonstop craziness of now.

★★ The air was thickening and mild. The wait for the instrument-repair shop to open was slightly shorter than the time necessary to finish a small café au lait while standing up outside the coffee shop around the corner. Warm and cool air currents bumped together without mingling. At the back end of the afternoon, buildings suddenly went missing; a fog, continuous with the low gray sky, played a memory guessing game with the skyline, erasing some here while the other ones there stood untouched. A drizzle fell, so light as to be elusive.

It’s good.

Have I already told you how great the new Lusine record is? Oh, I have? Well then you will not be shocked to learn that this track from it is as amazing as the other two were.

Actually, you know what? Stream the whole thing here.

You’re welcome, and enjoy.

This is a very good game. Play along!

megancreynolds [4:22 PM]
“People at the State Department Are Anxious AF” — guess from where
[4:22]
fun game

nicole [4:23 PM]
Buzzfeed seems like the obvious choice
[4:23]
Slate

balk [4:23 PM]
atlantic

megancreynolds [4:23 PM]
keep er comin

nicole [4:23 PM]
Maybe

balk [4:23 PM]
teen vogue

megancreynolds [4:23 PM]
nicole you get honorable mention for buzzfeed
[4:23]
lol balk no

silvia [4:23 PM]
oh man

megancreynolds [4:23 PM]
close

silvia [4:23 PM]
wait

kelly [4:23 PM]
hmmm

silvia [4:23 PM]
dont say it yet

kelly [4:23 PM]
vo
[4:23]
x

nicole [4:23 PM]
I figured it was too obvious to be right

megancreynolds [4:23 PM]
i wont
[4:23]
i have faith in our collective intelligence to figure this out

balk [4:23 PM]
refinery29

silvia [4:23 PM]
The Outline

megancreynolds [4:23 PM]
balk is the warmest

silvia [4:24 PM]
damn

megancreynolds [4:24 PM]
lol silvia

kelly [4:24 PM]
regular vogue

megancreynolds [4:24 PM]
LOL kelly no

silvia [4:24 PM]
paris vogue

kelly [4:24 PM]
the cut

balk [4:24 PM]
racked

silvia [4:24 PM]
wait

megancreynolds [4:24 PM]
ok we are in the right space

kelly [4:24 PM]
racked is my guess I said racked

silvia [4:24 PM]
into the gloss

kelly [4:24 PM]
hmmm

megancreynolds [4:24 PM]
LOL if it was into the gloss
[4:24]
i would die

balk [4:24 PM]
apartment therapy

megancreynolds [4:24 PM]
slkjflsdkjf
[4:24]
are you ready for me to tell you
[4:24]
you guys are all v close

silvia [4:24 PM]
I LOVE THIS GAME
wait wait

kelly [4:24 PM]
no not yet

silvia [4:24 PM]
you tell us if someone gets it right right?

megancreynolds [4:24 PM]
i will yes

balk [4:24 PM]
gossip cop

megancreynolds [4:24 PM]
i wish but no

silvia [4:25 PM]
so we haven’t gotten it yet

megancreynolds [4:25 PM]
you have not

balk [4:25 PM]
lawnewz

silvia [4:25 PM]
wow

kelly [4:25 PM]
what else is there
[4:25]
the frisky

silvia [4:25 PM]
the skimm

kelly [4:25 PM]
jezebel

mikedang [4:25 PM]
The Dodo

balk [4:25 PM]
sweethome

megancreynolds [4:25]
guys
[4:25]
there is like
[4:25]
ONE
[4:25]
that you are missing

silvia [4:25 PM]
WE CAN DO THIS

megancreynolds [4:25 PM]
do you need a hint

balk [4:25 PM]
jalopnik

kelly [4:25 PM]
the concourse

silvia [4:25 PM]
reductress

mikedang [4:25 PM]
The New York Review of Books

kelly [4:25 PM]
special investigations

balk [4:26 PM]
thegriot

mikedang [4:26 PM]
Curbed

silvia [4:26 PM]
this is so great

balk [4:26 PM]
hello giggles

silvia [4:26 PM]
lenny letter

kelly [4:26 PM]
ummmmmmmmmm

balk [4:26 PM]
xojane

mikedang [4:26 PM]
Mic

silvia [4:26 PM]
the hairpin

megancreynolds [4:26 PM]
once agian you are all in the correct space
[4:26]
yes silvia its the hairpin
[4:26]
the wymymynz space

kelly [4:26 PM]
hehehe

silvia [4:26 PM]
the wing

balk [4:26 PM]
ugh vice ladies what’s it called

kelly [4:27 PM]
oh yea!

mikedang [4:27 PM]
The Cut

silvia [4:27 PM]
boobs
[4:27]
bustle!!!!!

megancreynolds [4:27 PM]
LOL it is not boobs or vice ladies
[4:27]
no but close!!!

silvia [4:27 PM]
FUCK

kelly [4:27 PM]
god dMNIT!!!

megancreynolds [4:27 PM]
guys!!!!

balk [4:27 PM]
how manmy fucking broad sites are therE?

mikedang [4:27 PM]
Marie Claire

kelly [4:27 PM]
but it isn’t broadly OR bustle?!

silvia [4:27 PM]
balk said mammy
[4:27]
elle

megancreynolds [4:27 PM]
ok yes warmer

balk [4:27 PM]
teen redbook

kelly [4:27 PM]
WWD

silvia [4:27 PM]
teen elle

mikedang [4:27 PM]
Vogue

silvia [4:27 PM]
MARIE CLAIRE

megancreynolds [4:27 PM]
no!

balk [4:27 PM]
cosmo fetus

silvia [4:27 PM]
old vogue

kelly [4:27 PM]
lol

megancreynolds [4:27 PM]
BALK V CLOSE

mikedang [4:28 PM]
Cosmogirl

silvia [4:28 PM]
seventeen

megancreynolds [4:28 PM]
mike a lil closer

nicole [4:28 PM]
Cat Fancy

megancreynolds [4:28 PM]
ok i am going to give it

silvia [4:28 PM]
no no

kelly [4:28 PM]
oh my god this is the hardest game of all time

silvia [4:28 PM]
give us more time

megancreynolds [4:28 PM]
you guys
[4:28]
ok

silvia [4:28 PM]
wait wait

balk [4:28 PM]
tween self

megancreynolds [4:28 PM]
that is the name of my personal blog balk
[4:28]
and no

silvia [4:28 PM]
this is the best game

megancreynolds [4:28 PM]
mike and balk are v close with their last guesses

kelly [4:28 PM]
teen….uhhh

silvia [4:29 PM]
ugh
[4:29]
young vogue

kelly [4:29 PM]
rookie?!

megancreynolds [4:29 PM]
no!

silvia [4:29 PM]
ROOKIE

kelly [4:29 PM]
MEGAN

megancreynolds [4:29 PM]
guys

mikedang [4:29 PM]
Teen Daily Mail

silvia [4:29 PM]
hearst teen

megancreynolds [4:29 PM]
hahhahahha

silvia [4:29 PM]
glamour

balk [4:29 PM]
shape for middle schoolers

megancreynolds [4:29 PM]
ok i have to tell you bc i feel bad now

silvia [4:29 PM]
i’m screaming

kelly [4:29 PM]
okay I give up personally

silvia [4:29 PM]
dont yet

megancreynolds [4:29 PM]
no scremaing

balk [4:29 PM]
people en espanol

silvia [4:29 PM]
cosmo girl is real wow

mikedang [4:29 PM]
I give up

silvia [4:30 PM]
regular cosmo

megancreynolds [4:30 PM]
YAS
[4:30]
SILVIA
[4:30]
DING

mikedang [4:30 PM]
Wait really

megancreynolds [4:30 PM]

People at the State Department Are Anxious AF

megancreynolds [4:30 PM]
merry xmas

balk [4:30 PM]
ugh i thought it was vagina new yorker

Soundscan Surprises, Week of 2/23

Back-catalog sales numbers of note from Nielsen SoundScan.

The definition of “back catalog” is: “at least 18 months old, have fallen below №100 on the Billboard 200 and do not have an active single on our radio.”

Metallica is back in its rightful place. OBB stands for Oswald Brothers Band and is, you guessed it, a Christian pop-rock band. The Newsies original cast recording is selling again because of the Broadway Musical “event” i.e., airing of a filmed version of the stage production, in movie theaters, last week. (It was so popular there’s an encore!) Ropin’ The Wind is just such a funny album name to me. Sorry, Garth. Some other fun stuff in there I’ll just let you wonder about (Jethro Tull is 50, touring).

1. METALLICA METALLICA 5,384 copies

15. DISTURBED IMMORTALIZED 2,772 copies

28. OBB BRIGHT SIDE 2,152 copies

40. ORIGINAL CAST RECORDING NEWSIES 1,943 copies

59. USHER CONFESSIONS 1,562 copies

134. JAMES*ETTA AT LAST! 1,102 copies

154. BROOKS*GARTH ROPIN THE WIND 1,028 copies

168. BEYONCE DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE 1,004 copies

187. JETHRO TULL STAND UP 956 copies

(Previously.)

Jewelry owned by Elvis, a tavern keeper’s thematic casket, and Marilyn Monroe’s grave marker

Lot 1: The King’s Rings

Could be you’re “going to Graceland, Graceland, in Memphis Tennessee,” on March 4, and if so, there are several gemstone-encrusted rings on offer that were once owned by that hunk of burning love and aficionado of all things gold and gaudy, Elvis.

For my money, the legendary rock star’s ferocious 14-karat gold, diamond-eyed panther ring takes top honors. Quoth the lackluster auction catalog: “The ring is a stunning example of the kind of dramatic touch that Elvis was always seeking in his wardrobe and especially in his jewelry.” It is estimated to reach $15,000 at auction; online bidding has already begun.

Another favorite: an enormous stage-worn opal ring. Like the panther, it was given by Elvis to tour promoter Tom Hulett, who said, “Opal held a special meaning for Elvis…” It’s valued at $8,000–10,000.

Lot 2: Sidle up to the Bar, I mean Casket

Also on March 4, mementos from Butch McGuire’s Saloon, an iconic Chicago watering hole, will cross the auction block in suburban Oak Park. The bar opened in 1961, and is still going strong. Its founder, according to auction director John Walcher, was “an avid and savvy collector of everything bar or nautical related and decorated his bar extensively.” So … antique pub signs, decorative beer steins, and framed whiskey-themed mirrors: check, check, and check.

Perhaps the most peculiar of the 200+ lots is this custom-made, bar-shaped casket. Constructed of mahogany, pine, and brass, and featuring an interior draped in shamrock fabric, it is quite the kitschy treasure and a bargain at $400–600. A friend made the novelty casket for McGuire (he passed away eleven years ago), although it’s certainly more form than function.

Lot 3: Groupies Prefer Bronze

Apparently due to the amount of “wear” on Marilyn Monroe’s grave marker at Pierce Brothers Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery in Los Angeles, the simple bronze plaque reading Marilyn Monroe / 1926–1962 needs to be replaced every so often. This one, in use during the 1990s and betraying no sign of egregious “wear,” was “obtained directly by an employee of the cemetery 20+ years ago and consigned to this auction by her,” according to Heritage Auctions in Dallas, where it comes up for sale on March 18.

The bidding for this bit of Hollywood detritus starts at $10,000, although Monroe enthusiasts may take it higher. A slightly older one of these relics came to auction in 2015 and made $212,500, over a high estimate of $4,000. And when the actual crypt directly above Monroe turned up for sale in 2009, someone paid $4.6 million for the honor of being on top of the famously sexy blonde.

Rebecca Rego Barry is the author of Rare Books Uncovered: True Stories of Fantastic Finds in Unlikely Places.

Deutschland Über Us

It might be hard to believe—given, you know, the way certain events played out—but German history is rich with brave heroes who battled tyrannical forces at home and abroad. The White Rose. The Cold War “Mole.” The questionable individuals who built this parade float. And now, world, let it be known that another force in the German Widerstandsgeschichte (history of resistance) has awakened. Meet the Society for the Promotion of the Reputation of Blood and Liver Sausages, located in Bad Höhenstadt, a teeny-tiny Bavarian village near the Austrian border.

OK, sure, let’s back the Lastkraftwagen up for a second: What, precisely, are Blut- und Leberwürste? And what, exactly, is the existential threat to these highly perishable delicacies? And who, exactly, are the two undaunted old Bavarian dudes who have taken up this crucially important mantle of advocacy on their behalf?

According to a recent interview in the highly regarded Süddeutsche Zeitung — basically the German New York Times — the cherished Bavarian meal of Schlachtschüssel, literally “slaughter plate,” is in (very ironic) danger for its life, thanks to a decline in popularity in the age of “veganism, Trumpism, and the ‘insulted liverwurst,’” the latter a “humorous” German term (beleidigte Leberwurst spielen) for someone who’s pouting and lashing out for no reason, and an apparent unfair maligning of the eponymous sickly looking column of meat.

Speaking of which: Why, you might wonder, is the President included in this particular round-up of ignominy? Unclear, though sending Trump an official greeting is their “diplomatic duty,” according to Hans Göttler, the Society’s self-styled Minister of Innards (Minister der Innereien, a play on the German Innenminister, or Sectretary of the Interior), who, along with founder Franz Achatz, spoke to the Süddeutsche during the Society’s recent yearly meeting of all members. (A membership which, Ashatz claimed, currently numbers 350—“although,” he admits, “those could be alternative facts.”)

But this still doesn’t explain why these two Herren are so dead-set on making the slaughter plate großartig again — or, for that matter, its original appeal in its alleged heyday. And here I have a confession: they might confiscate my German doctorate for admitting this, but I don’t know why either, because I’ve never had the pleasure of consuming either sausage variety. You see, for the first 37.5 years of my life (including the time I spent in Germany and Austria), I was a vegetarian—a Vegetariarin, mind you, and not, as I always used to call myself, vegetarisch, which my German friend Kersten helpfully translates as “suitable for a vegetarian to eat.” (Thus: incorrect and inaccurate!)

So, here’s what I do know: according to renowned scholar Prof. Wikipedia, the slaughter plate is so named because it predates refrigeration, and its vittles — made, as they are, of coagulated pig’s blood and obliterated liver—are so perishable that they couldn’t be preserved by old-timey methods of salting, curing, and (I can only assume) submersion in the forcibly obtained breastmilk of a young woman suspected of committing infanticide. (Fun fact: the preservation method is a lie, but the force-milking is true, at least according to UC-Irvine Professor of German Gail K. Hart in my 2007 graduate seminar on the Sturm und Drang.)

Anyway, because of the acute probability of untimely demise via the consumption of very-easily spoiled blood sausages — combined with the good butcher’s hesitancy to waste any part of the animal, and the alleged deliciousness of blood and/or liver — meant that Blut- und Leberwürste had to be eaten on the day their erstwhile host was dispatched. This accounts for the Schlachtschüssel’s relatively massive portion, and, of course, its name.

Now, although I started eating meat when I was pregnant with my daughter in 2014 (gestational anemia makes you crave dirt!), and I’m somewhat ashamed to admit I haven’t stopped since, I readily admit that despite my newfound propensity for a bacon cheeseburger, neither Blut- nor Leberwurst seems like something I would like to put into mouth and chew.

I am, in effect, the number-one target market for the Verein zur Förderung des Ansehens der Blut- und Leberwürste, whose masterful use of the double genitive case gives this jocular club — its “highest distinction,” after all, is the Order of the Insulted Liverwurst—an air of gravitas. The genitive, which Germans call “the fourth case,” and thus the least necessary for successful communication, is used to denote possession, i.e. das Buch meines Vaters, or “my father’s book.” It’s widely regarded as the most pompous of all the cases, so much so that in Austria and the more laid-back parts of Germany — i.e. Bavaria, the very home of this august organization — it’s not even used in everyday speech. Although I sure love a nice deployment of a double-genitive as much as the next person who is not suitable for vegetarians to eat, what does the Society for the Promotion of the Reputation of Blood and Liver Sausages really have to offer me?

“Everyone is welcome with us,” insists Achatz, who says the membership ranks boast businesspeople, academics, service workers and retirees. “Our main problem,” he says, “is that only 200 Würstbegeisterte [literally: “those enchanted by sausages”] can fit in the venue.” Touché. And even I must admit I’d probably jostle in for a place among those 200 simply to belt out the Society’s official anthem, the first verse of which, apparently, goes like this:

Gott mit dir, du Land der Würste/God be with you, land of sausages
Voller Leber, voller Blut/Full of liver, full of blood!
Ach wie schmeckt ihr doch so köstlich!/Oh you are just so delicious!
Gschmackig, würzig, einfach gut!/Tasty, tangy, simply good!

Göttler, by the way, is also no fan of Angela Merkel, whom he describes as a Bazi, the Bavarian slur for hustler, racketeer or scallywag. “If she’s voted out,” he says, “there’s only one thing left to do: Banish her to Vienna,” where she’ll have to attend the legendary Opera Ball as “Girlie an der Seite” (literally “girlie on the side,” or arm candy) of Richard Lugner, the ancient Austrian jabillionaire and ostentatious jackass known for paying extravagant sums for the accompaniment of J-list starlets to high society’s marquee event. (In other words, he’s the 2002-era Austrian Donald Trump.)

All right, Minister of Entrails, I was with you until now. You better watch your damn Würstbegeisterte mouth about Angela Merkel, possibly the most important worldwide figure in our current moment of Widerstandsgeschichte. Still, there’s probably a better chance of Merkel showing up at the Opera Ball with a spray tan and Richard Lugner on her arm than of a morsel of Blutwurst passing my lips. Long live the “slaughter plate” indeed.

Would you like to go back to a world where everything wasn’t awful all the time?

We are nostalgic for the past because we know how it turned out. This is especially important in an age of heightened uncertainty, when the pervasive feeling is one of dread. Our very human tendency to minimize unpleasant memories offers an additional explanation for why the lure of the time before — particularly to a generation that came to consciousness during the brief interval between the worry that our world would end in nuclear holocaust and the worry that our world will end in… well, you’ve got so many more options now, it’s hard to pick just one — exerts such a strong pull on our emotions. Things may not have been so simple but they seem like they were, and we survived. Most of us — particularly the primary producers and consumers of the nostalgia industry — did just fine. When we think back a few decades it’s like a warm, gauzy embrace for our brain.

Given that, it’s only natural that this is happening:

• The Wisdom of Nokia’s Dumbphone
• Why I Might Ditch My Smartphone for the Nokia 3310
• Nokia 3310: what’s the allure of a retro “dumbphone”?
• The sad truth about the excitement over the Nokia 3310

The reintroduction of dumbphones! The phones we had when everything was okay! Just what we need to wean ourselves off of the addictive toxicity of the devices that our ruining our sleep, minds and lives! (Before you get too excited, my fellow Americans, please be aware that these “new” Nokias won’t work on our shores. But given the obvious appeal of a device that overrides our inability to exert personal control over our dumbest desires, it can’t be long before domestic versions are just waiting for us to pick up at any Duane Reade and play with for a few days until we decide that we need to return to the validation which likes and hearts offer our empty existences.) Enjoy your brief time away from the tyranny of idiocy that comes from thinking you are so important that you need to see what people are saying to or about you at every second. And maybe start saving up now: the next generation of not-dumbphones, which you will of course return to, are supposed to be pricey as fuck.

Let’s try this again with more feeling.

No matter who you are or where you live or what you look like or how old you are, you probably have a strong opinion about karaoke. What’s your go-to song? Mine is “Goodnight, I’m Going To Bed, Please Don’t Make A Big Thing Of Me Leaving, I’ll Venmo You Tomorrow.”

https://soundcloud.com/the_awl/eight-karaoke

Thanks to Christine Friar and Kevin Nguyen for joining us to discuss technique, strategy, and Puddle of Mudd.

Sorry for not embedding the Soundcloud file but there are some lingering technical cobwebs. (See also: Yesterday.)

The Adventures of Liana Finck

Liana Finck’s work appears in The New Yorker and Catapult, and on her Instagram feed. Her first book, A Bintel Brief, was published by Ecco Press in 2014.