Chick Flings Iced Coffee in Gunman's Face, Lives to Tell
Let’s hear it for the 33-year-old Red Hook chick who, at noon on August 25th, “was approached by a strange man who immediately pointed a black revolver at her head. The victim threw her iced coffee in the face of the assailant, tossed her cell phone and bag on the ground, then fled, police said.” WORK. (For the record, that is NOT how you are supposed to react to a “strange man” with a gun, in fact quite the opposite, but sure feels good, don’t it?)
Let's Blame Global Warming On Exploding Stars
“When stars explode elsewhere, the massive amount of cosmic rays created affect space weather in that corner of the cosmos, making it cloudier. That cloudiness shades Earth from other cosmic waves that are likely impacting the atmosphere here. The cloudier it is out there, the cooler Earth’s atmosphere is. So, the theory goes, fewer star explosions equals a warmer atmosphere. And a warmer climate.”
— Does this mean I can keep the A/C running all the time and not worry that I’m damaging the environment? Because I am way ahead of the game if so.
It's Like Romney and Ryan Are Trying to Make People Hate Them?
Closeted gay man terrified his wife will discover his secret: youtu.be/Oye4rhUa2Fk
— BarryDeutsch (@barrydeutsch) September 6, 2012
"The Thick Of It" Comes Back
Yes, sure, there is plenty of football to watch this Sunday, but, more importantly, the fourth season of Armando Iannucci’s “The Thick Of It,” indisputably one of the most amusing programs of the last decade, starts up on Hulu. The previous three seasons are already available on that service, so if you need to get caught up you should make some time for binge-watching over the next few days.
Jane Curtin Is 65
A very happy birthday to Ms. Jane Therese Curtin, who, for someone who has been at the forefront of comedy for so long now, is still pretty underrated. Anyway, she turns 65 today. Good for her.
What Is Going To Eat Your Brain Next?
Naegleria fowleri is a single-celled living organism that lives in warm, fresh water, according to the CDC. (It’s not actually an amoeba, despite the colloquial term for it.) It can travel up your nose while swimming in a lake or stream, multiply, and proceed to eat your brain. It has a 99 percent fatality rate, since only one person in the US has ever been documented surviving the infection. (There have also been several incidents in the US in recent years of people getting the parasite from using a neti pot.) Still, it’s a rare occurrence — between 2002 and 2011, there were only 32 infections in the U.S. Four deaths in a year is well within the recent average. But as the CDC points out, the organism “grows best at higher temperatures.” That might be a good reason to worry about whether higher temperatures caused by climate change will make it worse…
— Is global warming going to result in an epidemic of nose-invading singe-celled organisms whose insatiable hunger for human brains will doom the very survival of the human race? Sure, why the hell not. I for one am planning to stay out of the water.
Photo by Konstantin Chagin, via Shutterstock
A Wonderful Night for NYC
It is a huge night to be in New York City! For one thing, the art gallery season officially opens, and you can storm Chelsea with the rest. But also it’s Fashion’s Night Out — an easy thing to laugh about, except it’s really fun, particularly on Madison Avenue. (Tom Ford has beauty specialists in the store from 6 to 10 p.m.! I mean, come on!)
What Famous People Smell Like
What Famous People Smell Like
• Tom Ford: “vanilla bean”
• Michelle Obama: “cherries”
• Cher: “a mermaid”
• Kevin Bacon: “a little mix of baby powder and Listerine”
• Rihanna: “coconut and vanilla”
• Gideon Yago: “that clean smell that really young children have, as if they’ve never been dirty”
• Joanna Angel: “fresh laundry with a hint of menthol”
• Justin Bieber: “a unicorn running through a field of fresh flowers”
• Ron Jeremy: “babies”
• Taylor Swift: “expensive wood”
• Gwyneth Paltrow: “moth balls”
• Heather Donahue: “pine and myrrh and earth and balsam”
• Chad Johnson: “a frat house at 5 A.M.”
• Miles Davis: “chicken soup”
• Howard Stern: “death”
• Steven Tyler: “a skunk”
• Anne Hathaway: “nachos and maple syrup”
• Matthew Fox: “a liquor cabinet”
• Steven Spielberg: “a newborn baby:
• Snooki: “King Kong’s you-know-what”
Elon Green is a contributing editor to Longform.
Word Mispronounced
Hahahahaha, David Brooks can’t say “cavil” right! To be fair, we all have words we find difficult to pronounce correctly. I, for instance, can never quite manage “antediluvian.” Also “Schermerhorn.” How about you?