Halloween is the worst holiday of the year because it encourages white people to make terrible costume decisions. I don’t know if it’s something in the air, or maybe they’re drawing energy from the abundance of pumpkin patches around; but every single year, October 31st rolls around, and the I’m Not Racist, It’s Just A Costume crowd treats it like a free-for-all. And if I know white people like I know white people, this year will be absolutely no different.
We’re definitely going to see the corny-ass white dudes rocking unnecessary blackface to complement a LeBron James costume, even though the Cavs jersey and shooting sleeve is more than enough. We’re definitely going to see the silly-ass white women who draw teardrops under their eyes, paint THUG LIFE across their knuckles, and throw on fake gold dollar sign necklaces to complete their lazy ass “gangster” costume that fully suggests they just asked themselves “Hmmm. How do I think black people in underprivileged neighborhoods dress?” This year, we are certain to see the “Ironic” Colin Kaepernick costume. If you don’t think this picture from an unaired (THANK GOD) Jason Whitlock segment will inspire ignorance amongst the stupid, then maybe this costume that I stumbled upon will serve as proof.
White people, it’s not too late! Just like it’s not too late to skip painting your body like a chocolate Snack Pack or dress like a human Now That’s What I Call Music! CD, it’s not too late to skip the trash-ass Colin Kaepernick costume.
It’s stupid for so many reasons, but one is that it simply isn’t funny. It shows lack of character, as well as a lack of wit. Here this man is in the middle of one of the greatest controversies to every hit sports, and you want to laugh it off for a chance at an “I see what you did there.” It’s stupid because it invites negative energy on a night that people are just trying to get drunk, hit house parties, and have a good time. I only came out to drink some drinks, smoke some smokes, and respectfully flirt with sexy kittens. Now I gotta take a break from that to powerbomb you over the balcony because you wanted to rock the Please Argue With Me Because I Thirst For Attention uniform? No thanks, Dylan.
The main reason white people shouldn’t wear a Kaep costume is that it’s simply racist as fuck. People want to mock Kaep, but cause is way bigger than him. It’s about how African-Americans in the US are treated as a whole. So when you put that costume on, you aren’t just mocking Kaep and his anthem protests; you’re mocking every single person affected by social injustice and police brutality. You’re mocking Trayvon Martin; you’re mocking Philando Castile; you’re mocking Insert Name Here (because the list grows by the day). You don’t get to do that for a “joke.” You don’t get to do that for an Instagram post. People are out here fighting for their right to live on a daily basis; wearing an Ironic Colin Kaepernick costume is spitting right into their faces.
So I repeat: white people, do not put on a Colin Kaepernick jersey for Halloween. It’s not “just a costume”; it’s a reflection of the side of history you choose to be on. Don’t make the wrong decision.