Try one out for yourself!
The news is bad lately. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. What’s been more surprising to me has been watching my non-political news outlets also shift in tone. Take Scientific American, for example. Where there’s usually a fair amount of, “Did you know birds could do this?!” coming out of their corner, suddenly everything is observably… graver. Climate change, extinctions, and conflict management seem to be on their writers’ minds a lot. And rightfully so! But along with all of that president-questioning data comes a lot of really amazing descriptions of phenomena that I’d like to share with you here. Mostly in case you are a thirteen year old gearing up for your middle school’s battle of the bands.
Their headlines essentially assemble a press kit for you, you just need to pick a name for your band:
Hot Fossil Mammals
Hope for Elephants
The Great Pacific Garbage Patch
And while we’re here, pick one or two of these good titles for your LP and/or first single:
- The Universe in a Cup of Coffee
- Power of a Meaningful Life
- The Delusion of Alternative Facts
- Not an Extinction. A Transition
- How to Learn Morse Code—Semiconsciously
- Despair Not This Earth
- Galactic Murder Mystery
- What It Would Take to Reach the Stars
- Are Wormholes a Dead End?
- Soft, Sticky Frog Tongues
Now invite your friends over and practice once for thirty minutes in your stepdad’s basement, then kill it at the teen center this weekend. I know people say this all the time in show business, but I’m rooting for you.