America is dying and I don’t feel so good myself.
So admit it: As horrified, frightened and depressed you are that Donald Trump was elected president, there is a part of you that somehow refuses to believe the end result will actually occur. Sure, you’re making your donations and putting marches on your calendar and tweeting angrily about each outrageous new announcement but there is a tiny corner of your brain that will not allow you to accept that, come January 20, 2017, Donald J. Trump will be the President of the United States of America.
What will happen to prevent it? That’s not your brain’s responsibility to figure out. All it has to do is somehow keep the hope in your head alive that anything — asteroid strike, admission by Putin that he rigged the whole thing as a joke, second coming of a deity whom you have until now refused to believe in; whatever it is so long as it stops it from actually taking place — might make it stop.
Well, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is this is not a dream, you are not going to wake up, there is no magic spell or divine intervention to save you from the catastrophic embarrassment a minority of your fellow citizens have sentenced you to suffer under. The good news is “increases in ‘virtually every cause of death’” have lead life expectancy in the United States to decline for the first time since 1993. So we probably don’t have to put up with it for that long.
Feel better? Me too. Now let’s listen to some music! Enjoy.