Internet Video Is Lies

Seeing is believing, but what if no one is really watching?

Photo: Kordite

So do you know the thing about Internet video? It’s lies.

Everyone Is Lying About Internet Video

Seriously, whatever they tell you about videos on the Internet is lies.

Don’t Watch What Happens Live

So when someone tells you that their work involves Internet video, you can remind yourself that their work involves lies. Don’t say it out loud though, because the people who work with Internet video have done a very good job convincing themselves that actual people watch the things they make, and actual people actually want to watch the things they make, and any shattering of that illusion is disturbing to them. (This is only true of the “storytelling” types — the people who are all about selling Internet video and making sure their videos are seen across multiple platforms know what they’re doing is all constructed around mendacity, and they long ago sold any part of a soul that would get offended, so you can totally bring it up with them, but they will probably chide you for your naiveté, while checking their gigantic bank balance on their watch that is also a phone.)

Today’s Lies Will Come True Tomorrow

Anyway, why do I keep mentioning Internet video and the massive foundation of falsehood upon which it rests? Oh, no reason.

Forgers Use Fake Web Users to Steal Real Ad Revenue

Anyway, I have to run, but let me remind you of this before I go: Internet video is lies. I feel sorry for the robots who actually watch it.