Panic panic! Last night when I couldn’t fall asleep I was searching the home screen of my iPhone for the familiar lever that I could depress to stimulate my rat brain with more dopamine, I could not locate it! The comforting skeuomorphic icon was not where it was supposed to be and so I could not see it. My brain did not process that it had been replaced with something else, just that it was not where it was supposed to be (women have incredible object-location memories, did you know?). It was like reaching to push my glasses up the bridge of my nose only to realize I was wearing contacts (this happens…kind of a lot). I had run out of Twitter pull-and-refreshes like seven swipes ago, and there were no emails coming in so I wanted to go do what one does and look for stimulus in the distant corners of Instagram’s “Explore” feature. Then I saw it — Instagram’s new hot-pink fire tie-dye logo. Oh nice! Change. This is a new thing I’m doing now — trying to accept change. Really glad Instagram has decided to join 2015 and get with the flat-design program. (Where was Kevin Systrom when Airbnb’s new logo came out? Whatever. I’m just saying, it kind of looks like the Airbnb logo un-pretzeled and with a mole.) No seriously I think it looks great and I have no complaints. Nothing brown and old can stay.

Anyway the point is, for a brief second, I was freed from my addiction prison, until I realized, never mind, its walls had just been redecorated. I’m fine now; I’m safe. But also I can’t get past the resemblance to this: