The Silence of the Brands

You still have time to pick up one of our fresh, DELISH dips for your #BigGame gathering.

— Duane Reade (@DuaneReade) February 1, 2015

We tend to think of the Super Bowl as a fiesta of brands choking the social airwaves with Fresh Terrible Content. But if you review the output of the top couple hundred most-followed brands on social media, you start to notice that the majority of them actually go dark for the night. The fashion brands mostly ignore sports; the airlines without sponsorships don’t chime in. Non-football sports, car, apparel and energy drink companies even often counter-program with extreme or winter sports material. These are all companies that have learned that it’s better to be not thought of for five seconds than to face-plant.

The most interesting non-participant last night? Seattle-based Starbucks was silent.

But not every brand desires its dignity. As some weird sex thing happened between Doritos and Victoria’s Secret last night (I don’t know!), a number of brands hatched misshapen strategies and exhibited bad impulse control.

From the *Crickets* Department:

Excited for the #SB49 tonight? Or are you more excited for the commercials? RT and tell us!

— P&G everyday™ (@PGeveryday) February 1, 2015

Heard there’s a good old-fashioned football match going on tonight! Who’s going home winners tonight?? #Patriots or #Seahawks?? #Superbowl

— Hollister Co. (@HollisterCo) February 1, 2015

But they told us we should make Vines! They just didn’t tell us no one would watch them….

The award for Never Giving Up Even When Life Must Be Murder goes to….

With #XperiaZ3v & PS4 #RemotePlay, you can savor your own big game victory anywhere around the home. #SB49

— Sony (@Sony) February 1, 2015

Poor Sony. Must be literally the worst social media job in the world, just getting screamed at by millions of angry would-be gamers all day, even just while trying to post some weird kind of perverted animated Vines with a tangential Super Bowl relationship.

From the girl not now Department:

Go for gingham, it’s shaping up to be spring’s favorite print. #StyleTip

— Michael Kors (@MichaelKors) February 1, 2015

From the Needlessly Soliciting Brands Department:

WOW ! I still can’t believe the outcome on the Super Bowl. What a shocker. @nfl @pepsi @SuperBowl @Patriots @Seahawks @budlight

— Vanilla Ice (@vanillaice) February 2, 2015


With the exception of Trinidad, Tobago, the Caribbean region depends on imported fossil fuels for elec, transport.

— World Bank (@WorldBank) February 2, 2015

Heh. Bless.

Even horrifying enormous mega-monster super-engagement Twitter account The Notebook sent out one lone sports tweet last night. :/

Admit it..

— The Notebook (@Notebook) February 2, 2015

And it wasn’t about football, actually, it was just about… sexism, I guess.

Oh, here’s a dispatch from the land of native teen media. It’s not good. Do not have any teens if you can help it.

Where’s our active followers at ?

— The Fangirl Life (@YHFangirls) February 2, 2015

Fav if you have our notifications on

— The Fangirl Life (@YHFangirls) February 2, 2015


— The Fangirl Life (@YHFangirls) February 2, 2015

It’s scary, I know. Hey, let’s end with some good news. NASA did something great!

Supernova remnant with jets that extend trillions of miles: #superbowl #supernovasunday #sb49

— NASA (@NASA) February 2, 2015

How will the big game end? Echoes of a stellar ending on #SupernovaSunday: #superbowl #sb49

— NASA (@NASA) February 2, 2015