Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell
Over the break I was talking to someone about those single-cup coffee brewpods and how terrible they are for the environment and I came to the realization that, you know what, we have already damaged the planet beyond repair, there is no way we will, as a country, let alone as a planet, band together to make the necessary lifestyle and industrial changes necessary to in any way diminish, much less solve, the havoc we are wreaking on the climate, and we are basically all just killing time before nature takes its well-deserved revenge on us as a species (sorry to all the other species that are going to be collateral damage when that happens, but I can’t say we’ve been so good to you thus far that you’ll notice much of a change), so, you know what, why not let people enjoy a cup of single-brew machine coffee? (If that’s what they’re into; I personally think it tastes a little thin.) This whole fucking thing is going to come crashing down on all of our heads and there’s nothing we can do about it and even if there were we wouldn’t be able to get it together anyway, so sure, go crazy, litter the land with garbage pods. What difference is it going to make at this point? By the same token, I find it hard to get too upset about the way that our massive vanity has led to the growth of drug-resistant bacteria due to the overuse of antibiotics in the treatment of zitface. If we’re all headed for extinction anyway — AND WE ARE — won’t it be a lot more enjoyable to run out the clock with everyone looking a little more pleasant? Deep down, you know I’m right.