A Night at the Kaiju Big Battel

by Jared T. Miller


A couple of weeks ago, a battle between good and evil took place in a wrestling ring on Manhattan’s west side, when Silver Potato, a former Blockbuster video employee managled in a tinfoil-microwaving accident, fought off the minions of Dr. Cube, the mastermind of an evil kaiju cohort, who were pummeling Steam-Powered Tentacle Boulder. According to Kaiju Big Battel legend, regular wrestling matches, like the one between Silver Potato and his foes, prevent kaiju and their humanoid combatants from destroying earth’s cities by constraining them to a ring, so that the war between good and evil can be settled with minimal property damage. The event, “Shpadoinkel Mania XX,” marked the beginning of the live-action WWE-Godzilla-Japanese-anime hybrid’s twentieth season and fall tour.


#13 vs. Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder


The announcer Louden Noxious


Sekmet, Hell Monkey and Pedro Plantain


Pedro Plaintain vs. Sekmet


American Beetle vs. Gambling Bug


Dr. Cube and his Minions vs. Steam-Powered Tentacle Boulder


Silver Potato vs. Dr. Cube’s Minions


Steam-Powered Tentacle Boulder vs. #13

Jared T. Miller is a multimedia journalist in New York.