by Jake Gallagher
6:53 PM Tuesday, August 5th — Free Haim/Sleigh Bells concert sponsored by Levi’s
Location: Brooklyn Bridge Park
Length: Three quarters of a mile
Weather: 72, mostly sunny
Crowd: Two thousand people in various states of wear and tear; two thousand pairs of Levi’s in various states of wear and tear.
Mood: Youth-y, palpably.
Wait Time: Roughly one hour
Lingering Question: How much do jeans fade while standing in a line? How often had they been washed?
11:56 AM Friday, August 1st — Shakespeare in the Park King Lear tickets
Location: Delacorte Theatre
Length: The entire length of one side of the great lawn.
Weather: 81, mostly sunny
Crowd: Bucket-hatted retirees, be-clogged middle aged women, and bicycle-totting thirtysomethings.
Mood: Blank. Most people couldn’t even muster a sigh of relief when the gates finally opened at noon.
Wait Time: Six hours
Lingering Question: Does anyone work on Summer Fridays anymore?
2:06 PM Thursday, August 7th — Starbucks bathroom
Location: The corner of Spring and Crosby
Length: Four people
Weather: 81 and partly cloudy outside; 64 and overcast inside.
Crowd: Spanish-speaking tourists and one defeated looking local.
Wait Time: Five to ten minutes depending on whatever the hell that guy in front of me is doing.
Lingering Question: Can I just pee now?