by Jake Gallagher
9:46 AM Friday, August 15th — Teens waiting for Miley Cyrus, Greenwich Hotel
Length: Twenty-four teenagers
Weather: 65 and partly cloudy
Crowd: Twenty-two girls and two boys; could have easily have been mistaken for an American Eagle casting call
Mood: Just happy to basking in the wake of the Cyrus!!!
Wait Time: As long as Miley wants you to wait
Lingering Question: How long has it been since we passed peak twerk?
7:06 PM Saturday, August 9th — St. Vincent concert at Celebrate Brooklyn!, Prospect Park
Length: Two-and-a-half snaking miles
Weather: 82 and partly cloudy
Crowd: Ten thousand blasé Brooklynites and an infinite sea of groans
Mood: Utter disbelief
Wait Time: Anywhere from two to five hours
Lingering Question: If time is money, what’s the cost of free?
8:55 AM Thursday, August 14th — Apple Store, Prince and Greene, pre-opening
Length: Three people
Weather: 63 and sunny
Crowd: Two men, dressed coincidentally in complementary blue outfits, and one woman absentmindedly flipping through the Daily News just out of frame
Mood: Analog agitation from digital dilemmas
Wait Time: Five minutes
Lingering Question: What exactly does Apple do with all of those shattered iPhone screens?