It's A Good Thing 'Cathy' Is Already Dead Because This News About Chocolate Would Kill Her

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“Hoard that Valentine’s Day candy now, because chocolate prices are poised to head higher.”
— But what if you want to eat your feelings instead of hoard them? What if you didn’t get any Valentine’s Day candy at all because no one loves you? What if chowing down on that chocolate is the only thing that — for a few fleeting seconds of your day — helps you forget just how horrible things are? You just can’t win.