Too Young To Smoke

I'm glad I'm not young anymore.

What is the cost of a pack of cigarettes in America? It is too much anywhere, but it is crazy stupid expensive in the City of New York. And now on top of that if you are a kid you are going to have to pay some 21-year-old to buy them for you because they are changing the law and also you know your mom keeps a pretty firm count on the ones she’s got in her purse. I have a theory that one of the reasons we have not yet banned nicotine outright in this country is that it is the cheapest treatment for anxiety that we have, in the sense that majority of the people suffering from the mental issues that are somewhat soothed by nicotine will pay for the drug without any kind of government or employer subsidy, and if we actually got rid of cigarettes the true cost of treating everyone who doesn’t even know that they’re smoking to be less sad would maybe break the country. Now that could just be a crackpot idea, I have been known to come out with those every now and again. Anyway, this bill won’t even let the youngsters “vape,” which is the word they use for fake smoking now, so if in a few months everyone under 21 is all “Ugh life sucks I don’t know what to do” I will be vindicated. Sorry, kids.

Photo by Thai Soriano, via Shutterstock