“[N]ew research shows that despite the conventional weight-loss wisdom, the idea that eating breakfast helps you lose weight stems largely from misconstrued studies.” Look, here’s the deal: You’re not going to lose weight. You’re not a kid any more, and your body can barely get by doing what it’s supposed to do now, particularly given the crap you put into it, let alone metabolize things the way it did when you were in your teens. You are just going to get fatter. Maybe if you go to the gym and eat right and get the correct amount of sleep you will shave off a couple of pounds, but all of that effort is extremely unpleasant and at your age a couple of pounds one way or the other don’t make much of a difference, because when people look at you all they see is “old.” Correction: they don’t see anything, because you have passed the point where you are considered some kind of viable sex-doing target. So you’re gonna gain weight. It is more or less inexorable. The good news is eventually you are going to die, and you won’t believe how thin you’ll get then.