Fatal Beaver Attack Leaves Man Dead Because It Was a Fatal Attack

Have you considered whitening to improve your smile?

Every day, humans kill millions of animals. We kill them in the hideous industrial slaughterhouses, we kill them with our F-350s barreling down the county road, we kill them with gigantic fish-harvesting scrapers dragged along the ocean floor, we kill them at the “Humane Society,” and we kill them when they’ve made the critical mistake of surfacing near our ugly houses. But it is only News when an “unlikely” animal finally has enough of this constant holocaust and decides to “kill back” a human.

Today’s example comes from Belarus, a place we rarely hear about despite its romantic name meaning “White Russia.” It was here, reportedly, that a large beaver killed some guy. The guy was trying to have his picture taken with the wild animal in the wild. We are certain alcohol was not involved in this incident:

Sergei Shtyk, the deputy head of the region’s wildlife inspectorate, told The Daily Telegraph the victim had tried to approach the aquatic rodent after he and two friends encountered it as they headed out on a fishing trip.

“It was early morning and already light when they saw a beaver by the road, which was unusual because beavers are nocturnal,” said Mr Shtyk. “One of them went up to be photographed with it, and the animal attacked him and bit him twice, cutting an artery in his thigh, before running away.

Photo by Rob Byron.