This Week's Winners and Losers of New York City's 2013 Mayoral Election

Let’s look at the winners and losers of this week in the reality show that is New York City Mayoral Election 2013!

It was a quiet week in the mayoral campaign. Why is that? Because it’s all already basically a done deal, pretty much. The Republicans are fighting it out towards a primary, instead of settling on a candidate, which is fine. We’re all basically pretending that there’s an active race and that anything could happen! Well, it could… maybe. There’s the people with the money and there’s the people without the money. Once again. Polls describe everyone as substantially lagging behind Quinn.

Mike Bloomberg Mayor Mike delivered his 12th state of the union address yesterday (man!) and it was a real mixed bag. Unfortunately he came out hard with his love of stop and frisk. He just loves some stop and frisk. That sucks about him. And then? He gamified federal disaster relief money. That’s right: “$145 million of the first $1.77 billion in federal Hurricane Sandy funds will go to the winners of three contests.” OH but wait, back to that speech: “He pointedly chastised the Democratic lawmakers sitting before him for failing to support his efforts to break the union representing striking school bus drivers, hinting that the officeholders were beholden to organized labor.” SIGH.

Christine Quinn: Mixed bag! On the one hand, her proposal for affordable housing in the city is tax cuts for landlords, which MIKE BLOOMBERG DESCRIBED AS TOO FRIENDLY TO LANDLORDS, which, WOW. But then! “City Council Speaker Christine Quinn triumphed in a legal battle against Mayor Bloomberg Thursday as a court struck down the mayor’s new stricter rules on who can stay in homeless shelters.” And also: a weird flip-flop on congestion pricing. How ODD. GET IT TOGETHER GIRL.

Bill de Blasio: Quite rightly trashed Quinn’s landlord liplock. De Blasio also announced he wanted to tax all rich people (“rich people” = people making more than $500K a year) to institute a universal pre-K program for all four-year-olds. SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR DONOR BASE. LOSER.

Tom Allon: “Kudos to the mayor on #Sandy small biz recovery help,” he tweeted this week. That’s about it. LOSER.

Bill Thompson: Trashed Quinn’s speech this week. He also gave a speech himself in which he warned of the emergence of a “permanent under-class.” Do you know who reported on this speech? NO ONE. Sigh. Bill Thompson, I dunno, don’t use the same team you worked with last election, you were basically invisible, and you shouldn’t have been. This is ridiculous. COME ON DUDE.

Joe Lhota: *silence*

John Catsimatidis: Haha, he wants to “save education” by entrenching a two-tier system where “failing” students get shunted into vocation systems, because they are too scared of calculus or something, so we can make sure we do create a permanent servant class. LOSER.

George McDonald: *wind whistles through empty canyon, tumbleweed blows by* LOSER.