The Best "Recently Dead Sponsors of Terrorism" Halloween Costumes
by Abe Sauer
On Tuesday, October 18th, just two days before he was executed, Time suggested Muammar Gaddafi as one of its “10 Best (Topical) Halloween Costumes for 2011.” “You’ll need,” Time suggested, “An unruly black wig (or this mask).”
Time linked to the “Daffy Gaddafi Mask.” But while it is certainly daffy, it’s hardly the only Gaddafi mask available. It’s also not the only assassinated terrorist leader costume this Halloween.
“Muammar Gaddafi is just another kook to come out of the Middle East. The Libyan leader is known for turning his country into a terrorist nation, complete with public executions of his own countryman who oppose his ways. How democratic of him! In the US where we have freedom of speech, if we don’t like something, we can protest it, or make fun of it, In this case, The men’s Daffy Gaddafi Mask is a great way to poke fun at this nut job.”
That’s the description for the gilded “Daffy Gaddafi” mask. Prices vary ($18.97; $16.97).
But for those scared of turning up at the party looking like every other slain African “King of Kings,” there is Yiwu Senyi Craft Work Co., Ltd.
Located in Zhejiang, China Yiwu Senyi will supply you with a Colonel Muammar Gaddafi mask unlike that worn by every Tom, Dick and Harry at the party. At a bulk rate, the price drops from $85.37 to just $77.61.
Priced for the Gaddafi costumer on a budget, the “Muammar Gaddafi Man” mask helps you “transform into a life in the Muammar Gaddafi Mask! Includes: One latex mask which features the facial features of the Libyan dictator. Full face mask, followed by an Elastic rope.”
Now, for the hipster who was into dressing up as Gadaffi back before it was cool, here is a vintage Colonel Gaddafi mask: “purchased in about 1990 and was used one time.” Bidding starts at $1.00. “Reserve not yet met.”
For those going as a couple, a convincing Ronald Reagan mask is just $21. (Recommended only for use at parties Gen X and older.)
In any case, you’ll need to finish off the costume. Colonel Gaddafi was a fastidious dresser, leveling sanctions against boring attire. Time even recommended its “Emperor has some Crazy Clothes” slideshow gallery for inspiration. This “Prince Charming Elite” costume would probably work just fine.
When it comes to finishing off the details of your Gaddafi, be sure to pick up a costume pistol and spray paint it gold. Alternatively, for just $2,995,, you could buy a real working gold-plated Browning Hi-Power, nearly identical to the 2825i Browning J.P. Vigilant Renaissance Gold model with which Gaddafi was captured.
A tube of fake blood can be picked up for $2 to $3. Apply liberally.
For those worried that the Dead Gaddafi costume will be overplayed, don’t fret. The Halloween is a boom year for dressing up as a dead Arab sponsor of terrorism.
Clearance priced at just half its original $79.99, this “Bin Laden with USA missile through his head” has all you need to transform into the terrorist leader everyone already forgot about.
Interested in going as drone-slain Yemen-based terrorist Anwar al-Awlaki? Just wear the Bin Laden costume, nobody will know.
Still want to go with the terrorist theme but uncomfortable even pretending to be Arab? Then the “Navy Seal Adult Costume” is for you: “You’ll look like a part of a proud moment in America’s history in the Navy Seal Adult Costume which includes: A camoflage [sic] bodysuit with attached knee pad details, black hood and a faux armor vest with American flag patch on the chest.”
Note: “Does not include gun, fake head or shoes.”
Want to add a bit of political commentary to your Navy Seal-dead Bin laden costume? Pair with an Obama mask (high end only, please). Looking to severely meta-enable that Navy Seal costume? Pair with a Charlie Sheen mask. (Sleep with anyone who gets this.)
Forward-looking fans of Halloween and doomed Arab leaders are going to discover that finding a good Bashar al-Assad mask is as difficult as enacting political reforms and reinstating civil rights in a Middle East nation under the thumb of a single family for decades. But the Brooklyn-based makeup effects artist that runs ABFX Studio is probably a good start, seeing as it created this.
Are you just looking to add a little of the dictator colonel’s characteristic brand of WTF to your ensemble?
Try this “Madman of the Middle East’s facial eppagy on inflatible Gaddafi football!. Throw it, kick it, flip it!” [sic] Sick. (Here and here.)
Abe Sauer can be reached at abesauer at gmail dot com. He is also on Twitter. His book How to be: NORTH DAKOTA is out next month.