The 1% Don't Live in Traverse City

Anthony Ciccone (not to be confused with the, uh… (*puts one finger aside nose*) other one) is the tabloid tale of the weekend, being 1. Madonna’s other brother (not the gay one who sold her out with that trashy memoir) and 2. homeless.

Anyway, it all sounds better in German: “Madonnas großer Bruder bettelt auf der Straße‎”! Or Italian: “Madonna lascia il fratello Anthony a vivere per strada”! Even French: “Le frère aîné de Madonna vit dans la rue.” Oooh, la rue. But the original story is actually pretty great, with this headline: “Traverse City becomes magnet for the homeless: Madonna’s brother tries to avoid frostbite.”

Above: Madonna, Marty, Melanie and Christopher in more homeful times. Not pictured: Paula and Anthony.