24-Karat Gold Shoelaces On Sale For $19,000

Remember in Nicholson Baker’s The Mezzanine, when the guy breaks his shoelaces and goes out at his lunch break to buy himself a new pair and this somehow becomes a totally wonderful novel? Well, fans of that book are lucky that that guy didn’t choose to instead replace his broken string with these 24-karat gold shoelaces that the ridiculous designer Mr. Kennedy makes in Colombia. Because if he’d bought them, one of the ten pairs that exist in the world, I mean, a personal security detail would have delivered them to him and laced them into his shoes right there in his Rochester office — and he wouldn’t have had to go out at all.