New Legislation: No Dual Citizens or Anchor Babies for President!

Do you have a “long form” birth certificate? I certainly don’t! The “hospital” in which I was “born” apparently “burned down.” Now I will never be president, if the birther sympathizers get their way. Unfortunately, they probably won’t, because even when they introduce legislation that requires a “long form” birth certificate to run for office, they are also forced to admit they don’t know what one is. It’s also worth noting that these legislators are attempting to put into law that a citizen who has ever had dual citizenship may not run for president. This is probably unconstitutional? Though who knows! Still, good luck getting a security clearance if you’re a dual citizen — though the Justice Department defines dual citizens as regular old citizens of America for hiring purposes, and of course you’ll do just fine getting elected governor of California if you’re actually a stealthy servant of Vienna! Kenya, for the record, does not have dual citizenships.