I don’t know why but people have been talking about this Tumblr that started last month, called To My Wife, which is all little things allegedly written by a guy for his allegedly future wife, things like, “I hope you like pancakes, because I’ll be making them. Happy Birthday.” Haha, I know. (Mostly I think: hope you enjoy your first wife as quickly as you can, pal, because you’re someone who needs to move on to a second one pretty fast. Because: “My Soap: Please, for the love of god, my bar of soap is my bar of soap.” What? Is this a thing that happens in marriages that I have never experienced, where people have separate bars of soap?) Anyway, thank God, finally the response blog comes along: To My Husband. Because, you know: “The Proposal: You will not make a public spectacle of asking to marry me or I will say no just to fuck with you on general principle.” Fight! Fight!