The Terrible Semen Story That Is On Everybody's Lips

So, yes, there is this:

According to a recent study, certain men appear to be allergic to their own semen…. The condition is called POIS or post-orgasmic illness syndrome. After first thinking POIS was psycho-somatic, researchers say they concluded it was an allergy after noting that the symptoms only appeared when semen came in contact with the skin; men who masturbated without ejaculating were void of symptoms. The LA Times says a therapy is in the works, which involved injecting men with concentrated doses of their own semen in an attempt to build up immunity.

Okay, so obviously it’s a terrible thing, and we feel incredibly sympathetic toward those poor souls who suffer from the syndrome, but hold on a second: Who the hell masturbates without ejaculating? Why go to all that trouble if you’re not going to get the reward? It’s like a day without sunshine, or non-alcoholic beer, or a blowjob that ends without a swallow. It’s just NOT RIGHT. Good Lord, what a world.

Photo by quinnanya, from Flickr.