Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, currently under investigation for pretty much everything, including allegations that he paid a teenage dancer for sex (see wacky Taiwanese animated news summary above), told the nation that the allegations against him are false and that anyway he has been secretly dating one very special lady this whole time, so when would he even have a chance to bang hookers? In the wake of a police raid on the home of some of his party attendees, the premier explained that the festivities were more of an outreach session than anything else.
Speaking from a studio at the mansion, its shelves lined with photos of his family, Berlusconi likened the operation to a mafia roundup, claiming that the only crime committed by the women was “to give me friendship and affection” during the “elegant” and “tranquil” soirees that gave him the chance to communicate with young people.
Tackling reports he doled out large sums of cash to his female guests, Berlusconi said he was proud to help those in need “with their homes, medical care and schooling for their children, but there was never any connection between money and sexual performances”.
See? The guy’s all heart. And Viagra, probably.