by Ana Marie Cox And Jason Linkins
Here are GQ’s Ana Marie Cox and the Huffington Post’s Eat the Press editor Jason Linkins to explain the politics. Why are we seeing so much of the back of Obama? What indeed was Rahm planning? What is the deal with Bo? Is Joe Biden still alive?
Gratuitously magical. Hold on to these moments, Obama fans.
Ana Marie: I don’t know if this is a metaphor for the mood at the White House or what, but Pete Souza sure is taking a lot of pictures of Obama’s back.
Jason: Maybe Pete Souza will write a column for Politico about how frustrated he is with Obama withholding access? “How much money is left in your ‘The Obama White House has a messaging problem’ budget, VandeHei?”
Ana Marie: Seriously that is a lot of pix of Obama’s ass. Ass in mom jeans!
Jason: When Sasha fished her golf ball out of the hole, was John Boehner there, sipping on a Slurpee?
Ana Marie: Tanning on top of an overturned car?
Tell you one thing: Our Special Envoy for Middle East Peace does not seem like he’s paid very much attention to…no wonder it’s been taking awhile!
“And now, folks, a special treat, as Hillary performs her favorite tunes from ‘Anything Goes!’”
“Okay! Middle East Peace Process! Everyone synchronize their watches!”
Ana Marie: There’s no way to get around a throws like a girl joke here.
Jason: There’s also no way of getting around the fact that Bo could start for the Washington Nationals right now.
If this is how Obama looks before every staff meeting, I would be concerned.
Ana Marie: Ol’ Joe Biden, telling that same story about how he was almost president. Again.
Jason: I think Rahm is mulling whether he wants to whip out that Hillary-for-Joe switch plan he’s keeping behind his back.
Next: Obama’s Secret Notes!
Ana Marie: From the files of Pete Souza, official White House stalker.
Jason: Jesus! That’s like a scene from MANHUNTER! When does he invite Katie Johnson over to listen to “In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida?”
Ana Marie: That was taken just to make sure there was a WH flickr feed photo Glenn Beck liked.
See that note? It’s a reminder to Obama that he has to meet with this senior advisors. We can only surmise by his body language — and the fact that he’s wearing a watch, so he fucking knows what fucking time it is — that whether these are the outgoing senior advisors or the incoming senior advisers — look: it means SHIT to him. (And OF COURSE THEY HAVE DECIDED WHO THE NEW SENIOR ADVISORS WILL BE. They did that last month.)
Even after two years, you can work at the White House and STILL get excited about the secret door.
Yep. Everyone once in a while, you come across a picture like this and think to yourself: “Wow, that really is a lot of white people.”
OH HAI National Security Advisor Gen. James L. Jones! What, you’re leaving? So soon? Ohthat’stoobadhere’sthedoorniceseeingyoustayintouchgoodbye.
Taken moments before Katie Johnson returned from her lunch break to exclaim: “LIKE YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR OWN OFFICE? Gah. And stop reading my mail.”
ANA: Oh, I like to think, he’s doing this thing we used to do at Mother Jones, where we’d sneak over to other people’s stations and send crazy and shocking emails to one another as jokes.
JASON: You know, it’s amazing that you don’t work at MOTHER JONES anymore, for some reason.
Ah, Pete Rouse. The charisma drips off him. He’s like two Rahms. Literally. With his appointment, Obama sends a clear message to uncooperative Republicans: “Your showers are about to get a lot scarier.”
See, assholes, he IS thinking about the economy.
Pete Souza, official White House photographer/stalker outwits Obama again! Mr. President, Mr. President, THE PHOTO IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!
Next: George Clooney and juice!
One of Karzai’s rules for diplomatic negotiations with the White House is that strike fourth-grade rules of etiquette apply. Also, after the meetings are over, everyone gets juice.
In the movie of the Obama White House, Pete Rouse will be played by George Clooney. (We’re also expecting a “Hollywood ending.”)
You should really enjoy your time with the President while you can, Political Director Patrick Gaspard!
Aw. That’s nice, Mr. President! But the point is for them to have a picture taken with you.
JASON: Wow, and here we thought that other meeting was white!
ANA MARIE: The difference is that these are the people who decide who gets to have health insurance!
Pete Souza brings “framing” to new lows.
Just so you know, here’s how your four living, non-Jimmy Carter presidents have marked their territory. (And yes, this means the LaRouchies are right!)
Ah, the terrorist fist bump. For Joe Biden, now just a reminder of happier, more intimate times.