An Interview With @Vincent_Gallo

by Mat Honan

Vincent Gallo says it wasn’t him. The New York Post quotes the actor-cum-director-cum-musician venting frustrations about fake Twitter accounts using his identity, lamenting “it is embarrassing having anyone believe I would sign up for and communicate with Twitter.” It sure is!

Yet since April of 2009, someone claiming to be Gallo has been writing weird, vitriolic, perverted and syrup-obsessed tweets as @Vincent_Gallo. In other words, it’s a rather convincing portrayal. And despite Gallo’s protests, the account remains live and continues to plead for maple syrup. But storm clouds on the horizon! Twitter just kicked Fake Gary Busey off the set today. How much longer will @vincent_gallo be able to keep it up?

We corresponded via email.

Awl: So, who is this? Is this Josh Simpson again, the guy behind @BPGlobalPR?

@vincent_gallo: I have no idea what @BPGlobalwhatever is. This is Vincent Gallo. Do you not even know who you’re fucking interviewing? Because I have better things I could be doing with my time. Trader Joe’s gets new deliveries in this afternoon and they’ve been out of corn dogs since yesterday, which kinda sucks.

Awl: The New York Post ran a story last week claiming that all the Twitter accounts were hoaxes. Are you claiming to be Vincent Gallo, the actor, director and musician?

@vincent_gallo: Well, all the OTHER accounts are hoaxes, duh. This one is real. Maybe one of those other frauds managed to convince the New York Post that they were really me. But I never talked to the New York Post. Honestly, I don’t pay too much attention to the mainstream media. The print whatever the liberal shadow government tells them to.

Awl: Should people be embarrassed to use Twitter?

@vincent_gallo: People should be embarrassed of EVERYTHING they do. Honestly, have you watched people lately? They’re ugly, they’re fat. They wear bad clothes. Just last night I was walking to the 7–11 to get mini-donuts, you know the waxy ones, right? And I almost tripped over this guy sitting on the sidewalk eating a bucket of chicken. Big ass bucket. Licking his fingers. Grease all over his face. Anyway I go to the store and on my way back I pass the same guy and he is SHITTING into the bucket. The same fucking bucket he’d just been eating from, man. I mean, I guess I should be glad he was shitting into a bucket. But no, I’m not embarrassed of using Twitter at all. I can vent my animosity towards my fans from my own home. I like that.

Awl: Why did you ask people to bring maple syrup with them when they come to see your band? Do you actually eat it?

@vincent_gallo: Of course I eat it. I eat it on pancakes, on corn dogs, on anything I think it made taste good on. I ask people to bring it to shows because I want it. And when I’m on tour I don’t always have time to do my own shopping. Plus it’s fun to make people do things.

[Editor’s note: Here is a video of Vincent Gallo playing live.

This video is also of Vincent Gallo playing live.

Clearly, two different people!]

Awl: Are you particular about maple syrup? For example, I’m at my mom’s house in New Hampshire right now, and she claims that Vermont stuff is all junk, and that only Granite State syrup is worth eating. Do you have a preference?

@vincent_gallo: Let me tell you a secret: Grade A maple syrup is shit. It’s light and boring. You want good maple syrup you get Grade B. It’s got a much stronger and darker maple flavor to it. It’s made from the musk of the tree. Now, Vermont they grade their syrups on a higher standard than the rest of the US. And New Hampshire doesn’t grade theirs at all.

Your mom is probably using the Grade A stuff. Tell her to try Grade B. Also tell her I said hi.

Awl: Twitter’s verified accounts are cutting down on successful celebrity impersonations. Is that a good thing? Will Twitter be better off tamed?

@vincent_gallo: I was in SF last week and I went to the Twitter office to get my account verified. They wouldn’t let me in! I even stopped at Whole Foods to bring them a bottle of maple syrup. Sadly the dumb hippies only sell Grade A maple syrup, but whatever. Anyway the secretary wouldn’t let me in. She handed me a form to fill out. Like I carry a pen and shit, right?!? You know whose account they should kill? Kanye West’s. That ass is a train wreck.

Awl: If Twitter takes your @vincent_gallo account offline, will you resurrect it somewhere else? Why aren’t there more fake celebrity Tumblrs or Blogger sites? It would be just as easy to fake one of those. What is it about Twitter that lends itself to fakery?

@vincent_gallo: Why would twitter take my account offline? That would really piss me off if it wasn’t for all the water therapy. I don’t know what a Tumbl is. I like twitter because it’s easy and Rainn Wilson set it up for me. I don’t know much about computers.

Awl: Tell me about your relationship with Roger Ebert. I see you reaching out to him quite a bit on Twitter.

@vincent_gallo: Roger and I have made our peace. When he was too stupid to appreciate Brown Bunny, I put a curse on him. Which I kinda sorta feel bad about. But we text each other all the time now. I even called him a couple of times, but Steven Hawking keeps picking up his phone.

Awl: What are you trying to accomplish by communicating over Twitter?

@vincent_gallo: I just wanted to tell people when my band was playing, and then I got sucked in. People want to know what Vincent Gallo is doing. It’s a good way to stay in touch with fans without having to smell them or touch them.

Awl: Can you prove to us, in some way, that you are the person behind the @vincent_gallo Twitter account? Can you tweet about @awl?

@vincent_gallo: I’ll link to the article once you post it. I’m not giving you assholes free advertising unless you’re talking about me.

Awl: Who are you, really?

@vincent_gallo: I’m Vincent Fucking Gallo!

[Ed note: we remain unconvinced.]

Mat Honan is a contributing editor to WIRED, and co-founder of Longshot magazine.