Toronto to Become Privatized Miracle City of the Tax-Free Future

Gay-disliking, anti-union, immigrant-suspicious libel suit defendant and former DUI arrestee Rob Ford is now the mayor-elect of Toronto! Goodbye, wasteful government employees and bike lanes — oh yes, he really hates urban bicyclists. He’s going to change the face of the city and do it… by spending… less money, in that magical way, and he beat out the crazily fun but hostile former drug addict gay dad George Smitherman to win the day. This will actually be a great experiment! Maybe he can privatize garbage collection and cut the city’s debt by $1.58 billion over four years and also spend $4 billion on new subway lines and hire more police while saving taxpayers money! Maybe so. And, because it’s always about us here in America when it comes to Canada, this even might be a sign that the U.S. elections will be going in the same direction.