Blueprint Cleanse Juice Tastes Like Acne, Humiliation, Clumsy Early Sexual Experience

“The six juices, numbered and meant to be drunk in a particular order, looked so tasty. What’s not to like about spicy lemonade, or pineapple with mint? Cashew milk flavored with vanilla and cinnamon was a little cloying, but… I mean, c’mon, cashews, the George Clooney of nuts. When it came to the green juice, I read the label and tried hard to concentrate on the ‘lemon’ and ‘apple’ parts of the equation: romaine, celery, cucumber, green apple, spinach, kale, parsley, lemon. Bright side: no beets. Here’s the thing. That green juice? It was like drinking everything bad that ever happened to me in high school.”
 — The Times’ Judith Newman tries out the popular Blueprint Cleanse Diet.