David Cameron Wins The Race To Run Knifecrime Island

This nation's new head blade

At some point soon, if he has not already, David Cameron will receive a call from President Barack Obama congratulating him on his ascension to Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. The two will speak briefly, mostly from a script affirming the Special Relationship, although perhaps they will chat about those Smiths and Radiohead CDs Cameron gave Obama back when they were both simple aspirants to office. Then David Cameron will look around his new workspace, realize what he’s signed on for, and perhaps heave a sigh that signals both anguish and relief. And then the new government will kick into action. We will probably go back to simply covering the glassings and knife crime, but this has been plenty of fun.