Manhattan's Vintage Stores Stay Eating It


I know nastiness is SO 2009 because 2010 is going to be deep-fried rainbows in effusive sauce but I can’t help but be anything besides pshaw at the news that New York City’s vintage stores are going out of business. Hey, it’s not like I don’t enjoy other people’s underwear, bias-cut velvet shit, and keen little heels in a women’s size 4 AA but um, hi, as far as business models go, I just don’t see the appeal of buying pre-owned crap at extortionate prices just because there’s a hangtag that says all eight of the shearling vests are from the ’70s. I mean, seriously, why so expensive?

I get that they “used to cater to fashion houses that need extensive inspirational period archivesblablabla” but if you’re gonna put all your eggs in that fickle-ass basket then maybe you don’t get to be allowed to be so shocked?

GAH. I feel conflicted. I love small business owners and I actually love the idea of vintage clothing but I don’t get when they pretend that the Internet doesn’t exist, or that other customers have never been to the whole rest of the country where you can rummage around and buy the same dang belt for a buck-and-a-half. I also don’t like when they pretend that I’m not deathly afraid of bedbugs and that I have sufficient space in my freezer to store every article of secondhand clothing for the requisite 3 months that it takes for all its passengers to die. And by “die”, I mean sleep because I ALSO hate when they pretend like I don’t know that New York City bedbugs and spores are really diesel and will just be extra well-rested, powerful and PISSED when they wake up to kill me slowly.

In short, I’m kinda thinking 2010 will maybe be a suck and until I get over 2009 I want all my clothes hermetically sealed in clamshells.