Jersey Mayhem: Knife-Happy Road Rager Busted In Mall Parking Lot

Apart from certain MTV-related mishegas, it’s been a relatively mayhem-free week in New Jersey. But there is this: “Police: Ocean Township man threatened motorist with knife for driving too slow.” From the Asbury Park Press: “According to police, [a 19-year-old] pulled alongside a 2009 Hyundai he had initially been unable to pass and threatened the car passenger with a knife. The driver of the car, a 23-year-old woman from Howell, called police as she drove into the parking lot of the Seaview Mall.” When you think about it, this story is really a classic example of Jersey mayhem.

It’s got cars, knives-which, as we recently learned, most state residents keep in their cars-and most importantly, serving as a beacon of hope, a sanctuary, offering safe harbor in a scary world, the mall. [The fellow], who was driving a ’95 Mitsubishi, was alleged to have followed the woman into the mall’s parking lot to threaten her some more (she must have been driving really slow, which, let’s be honest, simply does not fly in Jersey) and that’s where the cops caught up with him and charged him with aggravated assault and weapons possession.

An update: Great news! According to parties informed of the situation, all charges against the motorist were dropped. Hooray!