On 'Naked' At 20

My ears were much better twenty years ago, but still the shrill and distorted gutter English of Naked meant that I missed as much as I caught. Now that I am a closed-caption aficionado, recently I rented it to re-see/re-hear what I earlier saw and heard AND to fill in the many gaps. Yup, you guessed it -- no CC. Sigh.

Posted on November 19, 2013 at 7:21 pm 0

On Ask Polly: I'm 40 And No Man Would Want Me Now!

It is a truly rare Portland-LA romance that works out in the long run. In the short run, each is so fucking exotic to the other that it is hot hot hot. But that cools in the face of. . .reality.

Posted on October 24, 2013 at 9:24 pm 1

On Tina Brown, 1953 - 2013

While it is true that TB did Very Bad Things to the New Yorker, I always thought she was perfect for Vanity Fair and VF was perfect for her. I was sorry when she left it. (And I did enjoy the Diana book. But her later efforts have been. . .meh.)

Posted on September 14, 2013 at 3:27 pm 0

On The Letter

To further demonstrate Keillor's distaste for Tina Brown, he did a brief sketch on PHC one time in which he encountered Brown in a parade, "riding a white charger," and the following exchange ensued:

"Tina, Tina, I *LOVE* what you've done with the magazine -- it's FABULOUS!"

"Oh, theng yew theng yew. . ."

"Yes, my New Yorkers used to pile up unread at my bedside and I felt so guilty. . .and now I don't!"

Posted on July 8, 2013 at 4:35 pm 0

On Your Smart-Person Beach Read Arrived Early: "The Bling Ring"

I have, in general, a hard time feeling really, really sorry for anyone married to Megan Fox.

Posted on May 21, 2013 at 4:14 pm 0

On An Entire Human Life Cycle As Dictated By Quora's Recommendation Algorithm

I don't WANT to sign in with fucking Facebook. Has Zuckerberg gotten to you people too? Jesus-fucking-Christ on a pogo stick

Posted on May 2, 2013 at 5:35 pm 1

On The Complete Glossary of Hipster Hallmarks

What, no "quinoa-eating"?

Posted on April 30, 2013 at 4:41 pm 0

On Mistakes Made

Note to Sandy: A day late and a dollar short.

Posted on April 29, 2013 at 12:45 pm 0

On The Honeyed Light, The Magic, The Majesty, The Endless Boredom: Terrence Malick's "To the Wonder"

I love movies, but Terrence Malick hasn't made a watchable one since Badlands. (Days of Heaven was almost watchable, but not quite.) I would rather have a root canal than see this movie, despite the Bardem and the Kurylenko. This was hilarious. You just have to look at Malick's photograph on IMDB, and you'll say: "Oh -- he's THAT guy."

Posted on April 17, 2013 at 4:22 pm 0

On How Did 'Forrest Gump' Ever Beat Out 'Pulp Fiction' For Best Picture?

"Right, and after Forrest savagely beats that dude, he says the worst thing a man can say about his tendency toward violent sexual jealousy: "I can't help it. I love you." Not okay, Forrest Gump."

To be sure, you are right in describing a general rule of sexualpolitik. However, in FG, the guy WAS a sleaze, and Forrest DID truly love her, and so it was RIGHT that he savagely beat the guy. That's emblematic of what is kind of genius about the movie. By showing a situation where the stereotypes are, in fact, right, but only because all the characters involved are utterly wacko/mentally challenged, it slyly posits that such behavior is NOT O.K. This obviously sailed over your heads. 'Aughts hipster ironists are condemned to have a hard time with Gump.

Posted on February 20, 2013 at 6:53 pm 1