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Flight of the Angry Spoon

Flight of the Angry Spoon

I'm basically just a really fascinating person with a very, very interesting life filled with friends who are not only incredible geniuses but who are also almost miraculously moral, generous, kind, funny, and punctual. Sometimes a creature with the body of a dog and the head of a cobra speaks to me in my dreams.

On Against Gift Giving

I think it's a lot more fun holiday-wise to steal something you want from a friend's house. (It's also fair and a lot of fun if they do the same thing to you!)

The best way to make this work is to have friends who are rich and who are also agoraphobic!

Posted on December 22, 2011 at 9:43 pm 0

On Local Columnist Explains What Invasion Of Iraq Was All About

It would seem that a man who took 11 bullets and lost a leg in Iraq wouldn't be much ruffled or insulted by a bunch of goofy nitwits at Columbia.

(Meanwhile, Teabaggers are encouraging each other to show up with concealed or, laws permitting, unconcealed, weapons at anti-union rallies in order to intimidate people with whom they disagree politically. Isn't it romantic?)

Posted on February 24, 2011 at 5:48 pm 1

On Did Army Use Special Mind Voodoo To Trick Hippie Senators Into Funding War?

Ever since ol' Dr. Delgado started conducting his feline mind-control experiments in Pasadena, California, back in 1961, the massive and illegal misuse of "psy-ops" was written in the stars -- and in this case, it looks like four stars in particular. (Ha! Ha! Ha!)

Anyone who cares to remember those first heady weeks and months in Delgado's lab will recall the irresistible sense of enthusiasm and arrogant swagger that began to overwhelm the doctor's research team as the stats analysts started cracking the numbers, and one unimaginable success followed another.

It rapidly became clear that if science could persuade a three-month old Siamese kitten to prefer vegetarian nut-loaf to salmon-based wet cat-food, 100% of the time, even under highly adverse conditions, such as subjecting the kitten to whole-body irradiation amounting to more than 100x the exposure received by victims standing at or near ground-zero in Hiroshima, Japan, when "Little Boy" detonated, then science could persuade American citizens to prefer just about anything.

Posted on February 24, 2011 at 10:12 am 0

On Dear Jews Who May Have Been Sitting Near Me And My Friends In Connecticut College’s Harris Dining Hall Fall Semester, 1989

Dear Hockeymom,

Thank you for directing me to the interesting, if somewhat plaintive, Facebook Group, "Jewish Ice Fishermen, Unite!"

This for some reason reminds me of a political demonstration I once witnessed in Auckland, New Zealand, wherein I saw a very small group of young women marching with a banner that read, "JEWISH LESBIANS FOR MAORI SOVEREIGNTY."

It wasn't for nothing, after all, that Edith Stein wrote "The Phenomenology of St. John of the Cross."

It would seem that the Children of Israel are destined to yield little lost sheep given to wandering hither and yon in search of obscure detours and seldom visited points of interest.

A sheynem dank!

Sincerely,

HDT

Posted on February 23, 2011 at 4:22 pm 0

On Dear Jews Who May Have Been Sitting Near Me And My Friends In Connecticut College’s Harris Dining Hall Fall Semester, 1989

Dear HOCKEYMOM,

Given the Jewish predilection for schmaltz herring and smoked salmon, the absence of famous, or infamous, Jewish sport-fishermen on your list is an all too familiar, even sad, reminder of just how far the Children of Israel have been pushed to the dark outer-limits of the non-Jewish Minnesotan conscience.

And yet, ought we pursue justice in ALL matters?

Your thoughts on this question would be greatly appreciated. (To the extent you're willing to share them in a public forum.)

Sincerely,

HDT

Posted on February 23, 2011 at 2:18 pm 1

On Dear Jews Who May Have Been Sitting Near Me And My Friends In Connecticut College’s Harris Dining Hall Fall Semester, 1989

Dear Mr. Bry,
This can only be the strangest of coincidences!

I, too, once knew Jews from Minnesota, aka "The Frozen Chosen," or at least so said the T-shirts and sweatshirts of their various Minnesotan Jewish youth organizations which they wore with such startling aplomb.

Be that as it may, what I found particularly striking about this crew, whom I met individually and collectively at various holiday dinners in Modern Orthodox neighborhoods in and around Jerusalem, was that they all seemed to have gone as exchange students to Sweden at one time or another and maintained close ties with their Swedish "host families" who were forever keeping them up-to-date as to newly available kosher foods and kosher restaurants in Sweden.

I never truly felt, however, that I gained a solid, much less practicable, grasp of what made "The Frozen Chosen" click, as it were, of whatever unnamed implacable force it was that drove them to spend some of their most precious, most vulnerable, most intellectually nutritious, youthful years in Sweden and in its mysterious thrall.

I do not think my curiosity is merely frivolous. I do not think my confusion, which at times would appear to approach a kind of awe, is nothing more than a trick played by a mind decidedly at loose ends.

For these, and other, reasons, I can but salute your candor, and look forward to whatever else your memory might disclose regarding your long-ago contact and frolicsome interaction with these unusual people.

Am yisroel chai!

Sincerely,
HDT

Posted on February 23, 2011 at 1:17 pm 1

On Don't Trust Anyone (Over 30) Who Claims to Know What the 'Middle East' Uprisings Mean

I know several people fifty-years old and older who've devoted their entire professional lives to studying what Mr. Bry would appear to construe as the "Arab world" and "Middle East politics," and so far not one has ventured, publicly or privately, any definition whatsoever of what these "uprisings" might mean, individually or collectively.

I'm also puzzled by Mr. Bry's seemingly un-ironic parroting of the terms "Arab society" and "aging Arab intelligentsia," as if they described known and measurable quantities, while at the same time criticizing others for their perceived or actual presumptuousness.

His carping in this way is all the more mysterious when we consider that at least three of the "Arab societies" at issue have very large minorities that don't identify themselves as "Arab" in any way at all.

Posted on February 21, 2011 at 12:36 pm 0