Thank you for writing exactly what I needed to hear today.
@cardiganboots @bittersweet I guess I've found this useful because looking down on them is a step to getting to equanimity, simply because I've let myself make these guys SO GREAT while I am SO TERRIBLE. If I wasn't terrible, why would they have left? Reversing that perception has been part of the path to seeing how things actually were.
@HeatherH And truly, isn't it a real privilege to run into these guys after you've gotten your head right and feel like you're in a good place? You've idolized them so much it's a treat to look down on them.
@Kellynsatx Right, of course the only reason that black women have unwanted pregnancies is black men. It has nothing to do with the fact that black people are disproportionately poor (because of racism) and that poor people have shitty access to reproductive health care (because of jesus christ, everything: classism, racism, misogyny, the hegemony of a particular brand of Christianity...)
Nope, definitely the black men.
LW1 - I have been where you are. The details and facts are the different, but the silence, taking on the pressure to be the "good kid," and getting completely messed up by all of it - I have been there. And let's be honest, I still kind of am. But my therapist is amazing and after a year of working with her, I am walking out of the muck. I finally believe I deserve good things in life and that I get to pursue them. I also finally get that I don't have to let people treat me like crap. So I know the "go to therapy" advice might feel cliche and like it doesn't apply to you, but believe me, it can be transformative.
@soeffingclassy Seriously. Can't we just decide as a society that now it's time for men to take on this burden for the next, I don't know, couple millenia? And no, using condoms anyway even though it "doesn't feel as good" doesn't count.
@franceschances Also, thank you for this, specifically: "Because it implies that when you're using you're dirty. I think that's disgusting. I don't think there's anything dirty or gross about someone just because they're sick, just because they have an addiction."
Thank you so much for publishing this, and InSite for existing. We need places and people like this everywhere. Tim's compassion is overwhelming. I'm holding back tears of gratitude at my desk that he and this place are on this planet, and sadness that InSite isn't everywhere, and hasn't been here all along.
So this class was Victim Blaming 101 for kids?
I didn't happen to buy a pair of boots yesterday because I was sad. Nope. Uh uh. Not me.