Just wait until six years from now, when we get the writeup about how she ran up $300K in student loan debt double-majoring in ibex studies and Sanscrit philology. Her powerful CV qualifies her for a job at Steve's Coffee, with occasional gigs as a valet at high-end clubs in the NYC area. But there's good news! She just got accepted to Brooklyn Law, where she'll doubtless be a partner at a prestigious firm within six months of graduation. She also plans on doing pro-bono work for a local ibex-rights group.