On When We Want Your Opinion On The Royal Baby We'll Beat It Out Of You, Just Like Mrs. Thatcher Would Have Wanted

I've never understood people who marvel at/are outraged by Americans' fascination with royalty. I mean, we're a republic, founded to get away from the awful tyranny of a bunch of oafish German inbreds, etc, etc. But that's precisely why we love them! We get to look at all the shiny accessories and titter at the funny hats without all the fuss of actually having to fund them and pretend they still rule our country! It's like why it's so much more fun to be an aunt or uncle rather than the parent: you get to do only fun stuff with the kids, but don't have to actually take care of the little brats.

Posted on July 22, 2013 at 11:21 am 1

On Baby Names Beyond Parody

They are either so old money it's mold, or dreadful parvenus.

Posted on April 15, 2013 at 2:13 pm 0

On Gay Life Is So Pedestrian Now That You Can't Even Film A Porn At A Sex Party

What is it with the guys who go to the Black Party solely to write "think-pieces" afterwards about the ennui of it all and how Gay Life Is Different Now and how much better than are than the ones who actually seem to be having a good time? Jesus Christ on a flogger!

Posted on April 2, 2013 at 12:00 pm 2

On Please Stop Talking About Jon Hamm's Enormous Penis

My penis! My penis is so huge, but I'm scared about my penis.

Posted on March 27, 2013 at 1:24 pm 4

On I Was A Teenaged Anchorman

I can't get over young Ken Layne! No beard?!!!!!!

Posted on March 4, 2013 at 3:26 pm 0

On Why Is Woman So Disliked?

@Brian Calandra I love Richard, but I really have this feeling he hates her so much because he sees his own theater kid self in her to a discomforting degree. I'm not sure he even realizes it. I also imagine he has/had a lot of friends an awful lot like her, and the things that annoy him about them, but that his friendship papers over, come out full force in a celebrity he doesn't actually know.

Posted on February 28, 2013 at 1:50 pm 0

On Should You Be Allowed To Work From Home? (Answer: No)

@LondonLee Oops!

Posted on February 26, 2013 at 4:24 pm 1

On How To Fail At Journalism In Exotic Foreign Lands

And all these years later, you... look exactly the same? I guess it's the beard. Or maybe the misanthropy.

Posted on February 25, 2013 at 2:31 pm 1

On Local Man Cannot Operate Beard Trimmer

Andrew Sullivan's complete inability to deal with NYC continues to be a joy and a pleasure to watch.

Posted on February 21, 2013 at 3:37 pm 2

On Local Man Cannot Operate Beard Trimmer

@pissy elliott Honey, that ain't muscle!

Posted on February 21, 2013 at 3:37 pm 1