I bet you would like improv comedy. Doing it, I mean, not watching it. Maybe watching it too? What I'm saying is you should take an improv class. It probably won't be a career but you can ham it up on stage like you want to even though you lack all the things you mentioned, probably.
I work in an office where people regularly tell me their birthdays for identification purposes. The other day I got a 9/11 birthday and just said "Oh! happy almost birthday!" but in my head it was spiteful because I didn't want to give them the satisfaction. I'm glad this confirms that you're all just waiting for it, you sickos.
@jfruh I just logged on for like the third time to announce that. I feel robbed somehow.
Good thing I don't look to sitcoms for how politics should work then!