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On Skinny Women Impregnable

Oh, no, no, no. It's very simple: women starve themselves to trick men into MARRYING them. Then after marriage the women and the men stop trying so hard to be attractive, and they both get fat enough to have babies. Simple.

Nature always has a plan.

Posted on October 21, 2011 at 9:11 am 1

On Email is Over

Actually, change can often be useful to purchase little items out of vending machines. I love change. In small quantities, of course.

Posted on February 18, 2011 at 2:07 pm 0

On Happy Candlemas! Margarita Cupcakes with Tequila Shooter Toppers

Not when it comes to Jolie Kerr, babies, or margarita cupcakes. It's in the book. I looked it up.

Posted on February 2, 2011 at 5:29 pm 0

On Happy Candlemas! Margarita Cupcakes with Tequila Shooter Toppers

Hey, buddy, you can marry her, but *I* get to have her babies. I asked first.

Posted on February 2, 2011 at 5:16 pm 0

On Happy Candlemas! Margarita Cupcakes with Tequila Shooter Toppers

Jolie Kerr, I want to have your babies.

Posted on February 2, 2011 at 5:06 pm 0

On Math Is Hard: Is Jessica Simpson a Billionaire? (No!)

Journalists who cannot balance their checkbooks or calculate a dinner tip should not under any circumstances be allowed to use the term "billionaire."

That is all.

But I do appreciate your (ultimately futile) attempt to beat back the flood, Choire.

Posted on December 8, 2010 at 11:25 am 0

On Math Is Hard: Is Jessica Simpson a Billionaire? (No!)

Posted on December 8, 2010 at 11:24 am 0

On You are Encouraged to Visit our New Lady Friend, The Hairpin

Other stabby-utensil names for consideration:

The Auger – Blunt, manly talk about sports, women, and backyard drilling
The Dibble – A nuturing environment for emotional cultivation
The Router Bit – Pointed banter about woodworking and medieval French poetry
The Tattoo Needle – Relentless navel-gazing on those topics which really get under your skin

Others?

Posted on October 25, 2010 at 9:45 am 0

On You are Encouraged to Visit our New Lady Friend, The Hairpin

Posted on October 25, 2010 at 9:44 am 0

On You are Encouraged to Visit our New Lady Friend, The Hairpin

Posted on October 25, 2010 at 9:41 am 0