On Brand Citizens United

Toilet paper so tough, it doesn't take shit from anyone.

Posted on August 21, 2014 at 10:29 am 1

On Premium Gore

It's funny, I have a friend who DVR's both Walking Dead and Game of Thrones, just so she can fast forward past all the gore. It's partly to avoid disgust and her own phobia of knives and blades, but also, in the case of Walking Dead, she says the Zombies get annoying with their constant moaning and groaning.

I think she needs a Premium Goreless remix.

Posted on August 21, 2014 at 10:10 am 0

On The Airbnb Hole

"The symbol is not supposed to be a symbol, it’s supposed to be something with meaning."


Posted on July 21, 2014 at 1:53 pm 0

On A Harvard Story

How dare the writer bring up class issues! Hard work and honesty always pays off, everyone can make it in America, [insert more platitudes here].

Posted on July 30, 2012 at 3:39 pm 1

On The "War" Is "Over"

Never Mind the Baghdad, Here's the Waziristan.

Posted on December 15, 2011 at 9:50 am 0

On Are You Good Or Bad?

What if I'm a stock character? An extra in my own life? What then!?

Posted on December 14, 2011 at 12:09 pm 0

On Blackwater and the "Military Aged Males" of Iraq

@Niko Bellic Military Aged Monkeys typing aggressively towards the writer's block.

Posted on December 13, 2011 at 6:03 pm 0

On Higgs and the Certainty of Physicists

And the universe was without mass, and very hot; and weirdness was upon the face of the deep.
And the Higgs boson moved upon the face of the cooling particles.
And Higgs said, Let there be mass: and there was mass.
And Higgs felt the mass, that it was good...

Posted on December 13, 2011 at 6:00 pm 2

On North Dakota: The Rise of an American Petrostate

@Socialism Socks So how much diesel may I put in your drinking water today? As a percentage of course. Also, I reserve my right to add secret ingredients.

Posted on December 8, 2011 at 10:24 pm 0