On Joan Jett Is Like A Magic Octopus When It Comes To Picking The Winner Of The Superbowl

She's a national treasure.

Posted on February 5, 2013 at 1:41 am 0

On Shrimp Will Win The Future

Not eating shrimp is also an option.

Posted on August 23, 2012 at 1:21 pm 0

On Who Is More Gangster, Rick Ross Or Timati?

That Rick Ross video has some excellent editing. Boring is definitely a good descriptor of the rapping. I mean, he's a great promoter, salesman, product-placement special-events publicity kind of guy, so artistic insight isn't really his thing. He ought to consider rapping in Russian.

Posted on August 5, 2012 at 3:45 am 0

On Thirsty Park Slope Moms Will Let Little Beauregard and Synesthesia Run You Down for Beers

Out here in Oregon it's a pretty clear and workable distinction: the brewpubs are for everybody in the neighborhood, including children, and the bars are for haunted drunkards. We end up only complaining to sympathic audiences.

Posted on August 2, 2012 at 5:48 pm 0

On Spiritualized, "Little Girl"

Dear God, not the stunt motorcycle thing again. B+ for palette, F for originality, creativity, imagination, sincerity, commitment, inspiration, talent, and vision.

Posted on July 4, 2012 at 2:41 pm 0

On You Are Not a Curator, You Are Actually Just a Filthy Blogger

Being a museum curators is like being an interior decorator for a bank. Exactly like.

Posted on June 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm 0

On How Silence Works: Emailed Conversations With Four Trappist Monks

This is a really great piece. But in defense of we deafened, harried, non-contemplative brothers on the outside: it ain't exactly a picnic in the park trying to keep both God AND women happy. I mean, come on. But yeah, I appreciate the prayers and support.

Posted on June 4, 2012 at 7:29 am 0

On Jay-Z And Kanye West, "No Church In the Wild"

That video is like a Zoolander montage. And the song is meaningless. It's all pointless. It's a cheeseburger commercial, an empty entertainment for low-information consumers. It's horrible horrible horrible. A totally unwelcome, un-asked-for, intrusion of attention-seeking stupidity in an already overflowing ocean of moronic, pointless diversions. And maybe I'm being too kind.

Posted on May 31, 2012 at 2:57 am 0

On Scenes from the Zombie Apocalypse of "Urban Beach Weekend"

@Binne Also maybe these sort of single, town-swamping mass events are just less common along the East Coast Megalopolis? Out west every town that annually expects its core to be overrun by visitors absolutely vacates just prior. Try and find a life-time resident anywhere near Sturgis in August, for example. I don't doubt for a moment that the Miami Beach situation is heavily inflected with racism, which unfairly misrepresents how equally black and white people behave like assholes when they party in somebody else's town.

Posted on May 30, 2012 at 12:57 am 0

On Chef Listens To Unappetizing Music

Quite honestly, I don't see how anybody can hope to do excellent work if they're not listening to Tool.

Posted on April 26, 2012 at 9:00 am 0